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nChapter 6 | If You Can Stand It (1)

n* * *

nBy the time Rienne returned with scissors, Black’s aide, Phermos had already taken care of all the necessary treatments ahead of the doctor.

nWeroz, who had come in with Phermos, just watched on with an awkward face alongside Mrs. Flambard, the two of them realizing they could do little to help.

nPhermos “So, you were shot by an arrow?”

nPhermos asked the question as he carefully wrapped the cloth bandage around Black’s shoulder.

nIt was odd for the person who had removed the arrow, cleaned the blood, and dressed the wound with gauze and medicine to be asking that question.

nPhermos “I mean, were you really hit by an arrow, My Lord?”

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nBlack “…Quiet.”

nBlack completely shut Phermos down.

nThe realization that Phermos’ question was strange gave way to another thought.

nAh…

nRienne stood with her back straight and a pair of scissors in her hands.

nHe already took his clothes off.

nHis blood stained cape and shirt were ripped and tossed to the side on the floor. Black was sitting in front of the chair where Rienne once sat as his shoulder was being treated.

nThe first thing that caught her eye was how his body was riddled with scars.

nThere were some that were larger than others, while some were white with age and others were textured.

nFrom top to bottom, bottom to top.

nWhen her eyes settled on the wound that was being treated, she realized how intensely she was staring at the man’s torso.

nIt was a body that was more dynamic and fierce than any other one she’s seen. And it was also a contradiction.

nIt was a contradiction that a body filled with so many unsightly scars wasn’t in the least bit ugly to her.

nIn fact, it was just the opposite. Without even looking too much, she could tell he had an exceptionally beautiful structure to him.

nHe looked like a statue. It was as if whatever creator took great care to perfectly sculpt him so that none of his wounds would ever take away from how flawless he was.

nBlack “Don’t just stand there. Sit.”

nAs Rienne observed him, Black turned and faced her.

nHe was also noticing things about her, like how pale her skin was after seeing his wound or how deep her emerald eyes were.

nBlack “You look like you’re going to faint.”

nRienne “…I’m fine.”

nRienne was fortunate there were others around. If it were just the two of them, she wouldn’t be able to cleanly hide how unsettled she was.

nRienne “How bad is Lord Tiwakan’s injury?”

nRienne turned to ask Phermos.

nPhermos “It’s not life-threatening, but it’s no small matter either. It won’t immobilize him, but he will suffer for a time. He’ll likely get a fever and struggle to sleep at night. If the arrow was poisoned, then we may have to anticipate things worsening.”

nThe word ‘poison’ completely changed the air in the room.

nWeroz spoke up, his voice filled with resentment.

nWeroz “I have Castle Nauk’s guards working to track down the attacker. Even if the arrow turned out to be poisoned, we should have no trouble procuring an antidote.”

nPhermos “Even if the attacker is caught, isn’t the person who sent them the bigger issue?”

nThe barbarians never beat around the bush with their words.

nPhermos “We would hate to think this is Nauk’s way of showing their courtesy now that both sides have committed to the agreement.”

nWeroz “How dare you! Do you really think of us to be the sort of people to do such a thing?”

nWeroz was such an honest knight, he immediately took insult.

nRienne “Sir Weroz.”

nRienne stopped him.

nRienne “Calm yourself. We are the ones who haven’t shown our faith properly.”

nWeroz “Princess!”

nRienne “And we cannot deny that the arrow originated in Nauk.”

nWeroz “I…”

nWeroz bit his lip.

nThe attack occurred in the back garden of the castle, not out in the middle of nowhere, and it was certain that the arrow belonged to someone of Nauk. If the circumstances were reversed, Weroz wouldn’t be able to hide his suspicion.

nRienne “It’s possible there are people in Nauk who may oppose this marriage, but in no way do they represent our official stance.”

nThat was the honest truth. Rienne prayed Black would see that.

nRienne “In the meantime, while you’re here in Nauk, we will do everything we can to alleviate the concerns of the Tiwakan. We do not want this marriage fall through and return to war. We only wish for peace.”

nPhermos “And what say you, My Lord?”

nPhermos turned to Black and asked him.

nPhermos “Do you wish for the same as the Princess of Nauk?”

nThe future of Nauk was entirely dependent on Black’s answer.

nIt was funny how suddenly Rienne was in a position where she wanted this marriage to happen, rather than staunching trying to escape it.

nBlack “…My desires haven’t changed.”

nThe moment Black spoke, Rienne felt a wave of relief wash over her.

nShe couldn’t believe it. The source of all of these feelings was such a contradictory man. It was still the same day that her lover’s body had been returned to her, but she couldn’t even begin to think about that.

nPhermos “Well, then.”

nPhermos looked down, an odd clicking noise coming from the strange looking glasses on his face.

nPhermos “At least now we’re certain there’s a faction in Nauk that’s still fighting against Tiwakan. Best we sort it out before the day of the wedding.”

nNo one disagreed.

nRienne “Nauk is with you.”

nPhermos “Good to hear. I should mention that the Tiwakan Mercenaries wish to be the ones to investigate this matter further. Ah, but please do not misunderstand. We don’t wish to usurp the castle guards’ job. It’s just that the Tiwakan is now considered the Guardians of Arsak. As such, we are obligated to handle the attempt on Lord Tiwakan’s life, seeing as he is now a part of the family.”

nWeroz “That’s…”

nWeroz looked between Rienne and Maslow.

nIf they were to refuse the request, it would only serve to make them look more suspicious, as if they were trying to cover things up behind the scenes. Rienne had already made her decision like a ship leaving port.

nRienne “I will allow it.”

nEverything they had declared on their marriage pledge seemed to be going smoothly. Everything except the marriage itself.

n* * *

nJust as they anticipated, his fever rose.

nIt was evening by the time Black lost consciousness and fell asleep. Every so often, he’d wake up and groan in pain, causing Rienne and Mrs. Flambard to go and check on him.

nMrs. Flambard “I think he’s finally asleep. You should get some rest too, Princess.”

nRienne looked down at Black, who couldn’t even see her.

nRienne “I don’t think he’s asleep… His eyelids are moving.”

nMrs. Flambard “That doesn’t mean he’s conscious.”

nRienne “We need to show our sincerity to one another. We can’t risk seeming uncaring.”

nRienne pulled out a new towel and offered it to Mrs. Flambard.

nRienne “Please, use this to wipe off his sweat.”

nMrs. Flambard “. . .”

nMrs. Flambard took it with tears in her eye.

nMrs. Flambard “Oh, Princess… why would you marry a man you do not wish to touch? What are you going to do?”

nRienne shook her head.

nRienne “Quiet, ma’am. We aren’t the only ones here. Tiwakan has eyes and ears just outside the door.”

nAfter Rienne said that, Mrs. Flambard realized her mistake and quickly covered her mouth. Just then, Rienne took the towel back from her.

nRienne “And it’s not that I can’t touch him. Give the towel to me. I’ll do it myself.”

n…It’s true that I dislike it, though.

nShe felt uncomfortable touching this man. But it was different from how Mrs. Flambard described it.

nIt wasn’t that she hated him or found him disgusting.

nIt was just…

nWhat did I dislike about it?

nRienne felt such conflicting feelings bubbling up inside her as she wiped off the sweat on Black’s forehead.

nI don’t hate it, and yet I hate it.

nI hate it, and yet I don’t hate it.

nShe couldn’t figure out these feelings inside of her.

nMrs. Flambard “I’ll go change the water then, Princess.”

nPerhaps embarrassed by her earlier blunder, Mrs. Flambard quickly found something to do as an excuse to leave the room.

nThe room they were in was the bedroom Rienne had used when King Seon was still alive. Back then, she thought the bed was pointlessly large for how small she was, but now it looked cramped and tiny with Black in it.

nRienne “Once he’s awake, I’ll find a different room for him.”

nIt was in that moment when Rienne muttered to herself and moved to wipe the sweat off the back of Black’s neck that he suddenly spoke.

nBlack “…This room is fine.”

nRienne “…!”

nRienne dropped the towel in surprise. Black’s light blue eyes were staring straight at her.

nRienne “I see… You’re awake.”

nHow long has he been awake?

nHow much did he hear?

nBlack “I heard you say you were capable of touching me.”

nRienne “. . .”

nRienne gripped the hem of her skirt.

nShe stared down at the towel she had dropped directly on his injured shoulder. She had no choice but to get closer to him to retrieve it.

nRienne “I just need more time. My lover was the only person I was comfortable being with, while you, Lord Tiwakan, are still a stranger to me.”

nBlack “But not to me.”

n…Excuse me?

nBlack “You are no stranger to me, Princess.”

nHis words were so low and breathy, they sounded more like sighs.

nBlack “If you can tolerate touching me, then how much is acceptable?”

nRienne “…Huh?”

nThe look in Black’s eyes made his intentions clear. They slowly and meticulously looked over Rienne’s face.

nBlack “Maybe it’s because of the fever, but there’s something I’d like to check.”

nRienne “What do you mean…?”

nBlack “I’m just asking. I want to see if you hate it.”

nBlack reached out his hand, his skin warm from his fever. It got closer and closer until it eventually settled on Rienne’s cheek.

nBlack “Is this much alright?”

nRienne “Lord Tiwakan, I…”

nBlack “Answer me, Princess.”

n…I don’t know what to say.

nWhy was she letting him touch her face and not pushing him away?

nBlack “Is this alright?”

nRienne “. . .”

nShe didn’t know. Everything was just so warm. It must’ve been because his temperature was so high. Even his eyes which were normally as clear as spring water were cloudy from the heat.

nHe looked so feverish, it felt like it would pass on to her.

nRienne “Your fever is very high, my lord.”

nRienne shook her head to escape his touch.

nRienne “You should close your eyes and get some rest. If it gets difficult, I have some painkillers I can give you.”

nBlack “…My fever’s high…”

nShe couldn’t tell if he was talking to her, talking to himself, or was just delirious from the fever.

nBlack “Then I’ll try this.”

nBefore Rienne even realized it, he was sitting upright, placing his fevered hand on her lips. Rubbing her lower lip slightly with his thumb, Black asked her a question.

nBlack “Is this tolerable?”

nHe definitely had a fever.

nThe way he was touching her was different from those in their right mind, but it also was different from the touch of her old love.

nIt was so hot, she couldn’t ignore it.

nBlack “Do you hate this?”

nHis thumb, which was once rubbing her lip, traveled down until it met her chin. He gently swept his fingers across her jaw before touching her neck.

nHis warm hands gently brushed against her skin and at some point started to caress her. Never mind her eyes—Rienne’s whole body was trembling.

nThe man’s hands were warm likely due to his fever, but it filled her with a burning sensation. It was a heat she had never felt with her previous lover.

nI can’t take this anymore.

nShe felt like she would be lying to herself if she kept this up.

nBelieving that she wanted this man.

nRienne “Enough.”

nWith her eyes still closed, Rienne pushed against Black’s hand to stop him.

nShe was afraid. Not because he had his hand wrapped around her neck, but because that very hand was just too hot.

nRienne “Is this… what you wanted me to endure?”

nRienne pulled herself together enough to look at Black’s fever filled eyes.

nRienne “What were you…?”

nBlack “I don’t know.”

nHis answer was just as hazy as he was.

nHolding Rienne’s hand, Black looked down at it as he slowly moved his tongue around.

nBlack “What was I going to do?”

nRienne “You…”

nBlack “I guess I was just curious how you would treat me, Princess.”

nBlack slowly pulled Rienne’s hand closer to him, pressing his lips against it and giving it a kiss for whatever reason.

nBlack “Or maybe I just wanted to touch you.”

nRienne “. . .”

nBlack “Is the reason really important?”

nRienne “…Yes.”

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nRienne was adamant with her answer.

nRienne “This isn’t a normal engagement. Because you asked Nauk for this marriage, Lord Tiwakan, I was forced to part ways with my love. And I’m with child.”

nAs she quickly added those final words, her voice shook.

nOf course it would. Lying so blatantly was never easy.

nRienne “In these circumstances, do you really expect me to so readily show you affection, as if this was something we promised together?”

nBlack “…Like I said, I don’t know what I should do now.”

nNormally his eyes were like those of a beast, but now he just looked dazed from the fever.

nIt seemed like he was honest when he said he didn’t know.

nBlack “All I know was that I didn’t want someone else to take you away.”

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