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ntranslator: baumkuchen editors: serefina, glitterypanda

nAfter he hung up, 061 asked him, “……Want to go take a look?”

nChi Xiaochi, “Of course.”

nRegardless of his misgivings, this “uncle”’s identity had been personally verified by Dong Ge’s mother. There likely wouldn’t be anything wrong.

nHalf an hour later, Chi Xiaochi, bundled up in a pitch black down jacket, sat by the already frozen over decorative pond by the entrance to the sports school, waiting for this unknown uncle’s arrival.

nIt had been a long time since Dong Ge had received a haircut. It had grown to become shoulder-length and was tied into simple ponytail at the back of his head by a black hairband.

nWith nothing better to do, Chi Xiaochi undid his ponytail and tied his hair into a little bun.

nThis was the hairstyle Lou Sifan had usually put Dong Ge’s hair into in the past.

nDong Ge didn’t like cutting his hair. In order for it to not impact his performance during competitions, Lou Sifan would always come to his dorm room before competitions and help him put it into a bun.

nFrom the age of 19 to 24, for a full five years, he had been in a secret relationship with Lou Sifan.

nDuring this period, Dong Ge felt that he was blessed, but was occasionally a little dissatisfied.

nOther than the He Changsheng who had all along been a faint presence standing between them, he still had another equally big load on his mind.

n—— Dong Ge actually didn’t like being on the bottom.

nBut every time he brought it up to Lou Sifan, Lou Sifan would always smile and say, then next time, I’ll let you top next time.

nHis tone was completely as if he was coaxing a little kid, and as to when exactly the so-called “next time” would come, only the heavens knew.

nDong Ge brought it up a few times before dropping it.

nHe reasoned with himself: nevermind, it was really painful anyways, Lou Sifan might not be able to take it.

nHowever, as time passed, Dong Ge’s way of thinking changed.

nHe always thought that it was just him being too sensitive, but Lou Sifan and He Changsheng’s “friendship” was truly eternal. Even after Lou Sifan and him got together in secret, most of the time, Lou Sifan would still go everywhere with He Changsheng.

nDong Ge would always follow behind Lou Sifan like a little lackey, staring at He Changsheng, lost in thought.

nWhy didn’t he know to not get in their way?

nDidn’t he have any other friends? Why did he have to monopolise Lou-ge’s time?

nNevertheless, their behaviour never went over the line. They were really and truly a pair of very proper good friends. Even if Dong Ge wanted to look for bones in the chicken egg, there wasn’t a single point to get angry about to be found.

nWhat was even more unbearable for Dong Ge, was that Lou Sifan would always compare him to He Changsheng. And it was never anything else, it was always his skating skills, which were of great significance to Dong Ge. The final conclusion would be: you’re not as good as He Changsheng, you still need to work harder.

nHe Changsheng was like a needle wedged in Dong Ge’s flesh, making him feel a burst of piercing pain from time to time.

nLater on, even without needing Lou Sifan to bring it up, Dong Ge would subconsciously make He Changsheng his target for comparison and competition.

nClearly, one was a pair skater, and the other was a single skater. Their professions didn’t conflict at all, but Dong Ge couldn’t help but compare himself to He Changsheng.

nIn this Petri dish Lou Sifan had personally prepared, those negative emotions continued to flourish.

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nDong Ge’s hatred of He Changsheng grew and grew, until one day, those negative emotions reached their peak.

nIt was a weekend.

nAs usual, Lou Sifan went to the pair skater’s practice rink to find He Changsheng, to practice and chat together with him, and Dong Ge also followed him as usual.

nSince yesterday, Lou Sifan had been in an inexplicably bad mood. That morning, he had even barely touched his breakfast.

nDong Ge was worried that he would catch a chill. After skating for a while, he got out and left the training area, slipping over to the vending machine and buying a can of hot coffee. Worried that the coffee would get cold, he held it in his hands and slipped back as quickly as possible.

nJust as he walked over to the side of the rink, he unexpectedly saw Lou Sifan directing a rare ugly look towards He Changsheng. He adopted a manner like he was conducting an interrogation. “Who was that guy with you when I came to find you yesterday?”

nDong Ge stopped. He began to listen carefully.

nHe Changsheng’s attitude was very mild. “A friend introduced him to me. I was having a meal with him, that’s all.”

nLou Sifan was unwilling to stop pushing. “Just a meal?”

nHe Changsheng said calmly, “I haven’t been in a single relationship for so many years, I want to try dating. Just testing the waters, no one says we have to get together. ……What are you so anxious about?”

nHe then asked, “Since it’s a date, why did you go find a man?”

nHe Changsheng shot him a look. “You’re homophobic?”

nLou Sifan said, “……I’m not. I just never thought that you were also……”

nHe Changsheng, “……’Also’?”

nLou Sifan, “I know about two or three couples in the team. It’s not strange.”

nHe Changsheng, “Oh.”

nLou Sifan paused for a moment. He asked tentatively, “Would you rather be on the top or on the bottom?”

nHe Changsheng, “……We haven’t even compared our Eight Characters. You’re really thinking ahead for me.”

nHaving been friends for so many years, He Changsheng did not consider such a question offensive.

nA hint of a smile appeared on He Changsheng’s eternally iceberg-like face. “I haven’t really thought about it, and I don’t plan on casually testing it out. I might prefer to be on top, but if I like it enough, being on the bottom wouldn’t be so bad either.”

nLou Sifan said, “If you’re going to get intimate with someone else, being on top is always better.”

nHe Changsheng said, “Why?”

nLou Sifan replied in a joking tone, “Being on the bottom is so humiliating ah, and it also hurts. Even if you want to be on the bottom, then you’ll have to find a caring person.”

nThe coffee in Dong Ge’s hand felt as if it had turned into a soldering iron, searing into his palm, the burning pain making his entire body tremble.

n……“Being on the bottom is so humiliating ah.”

n……“It also hurts.”

nSo it turned out, he knew.

nDong Ge suddenly felt like the him who had gladly endured that kind of pain and seen himself as blessed, was a fool.

nBecause of this, he got into an argument with Lou Sifan.

nAfter finding out the reason behind his anger, Lou Sifan very patiently coaxed him and admitted his wrongs, saying that he was just saying it casually, he wasn’t serious, if it was really that bad he could let Dong Ge have a go at being on top, and to take that as his apology.

nEven though they eventually still reconciled, a prickly sense of jealousy and crisis had already crawled into Dong Ge’s heart.

nHe had been constantly criticised by his parents growing up, to the extent that a deep-rooted concept that been branded onto his heart.

n——Not being liked by others was because he wasn’t good enough.

nEven if he had already won innumerable championships at Grand Prix Finals both within the country and abroad at a young age and set a domestic record, Dong Ge still felt like it wasn’t enough.

nShortly after that, Dong Ge was faced with an important international competition.

nWhen he was preparing for the competition, something happened: Lou Sifan brought him out to play with He Changsheng.

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nSince their last conversation, Lou Sifan’s frequency of looking for He Changsheng had increased significantly, and his reason was also very reasonable.

nLou Sifan gently said to Dong Ge, “Changsheng is an expert choreographer, if you let him, your senior, give you some guidance, your results will improve significantly.”

nDuring this practice session, He Changsheng had a momentary breakthrough, performing a jump sequence of 4T 3A.

nBecause it was just in practice, He Changsheng performed this difficult singles jump sequence quite easily.

nLou Sifan cheered him on, smiling and saying, “Changsheng, the points you would get for this sequence could break the Asian record.”

nHe Changsheng said, “Don’t talk nonsense. I’m just jumping around in private. If it was in a competition, I’m not sure I would be able to do this well.”

nLou Sifan smiled and turned to Dong Ge, saying, “See your He-qianbei? You need to practice well, you got that?”

nSitting by the side of the rink, Dong Ge lowered his head and tied up the shoelaces of his skates. “……En, got it.”

nA few days later, when he and the coach were discussing tactics, Dong Ge didn’t hesitate at all. “4lz 3T.”

nThe coach advised him to not take risks. Although Dong Ge’s jumping level was first-class, these movements were too difficult. For Dong Ge, the number one thing he should be pursuing was stability, he had a good chance of earning points with his step sequence.

nDong Ge said stubbornly, “I can do it.”

nSince that He Changsheng could do it, then he definitely could as well.

n……That was a decision Dong Ge would regret for the rest of his life.

nLike He Changsheng had said, one’s performance in competitions and one’s performance in private were two different things.

nUnder the pressure of an away battle and the competitive atmosphere, Dong Ge stubbornly stood up to the challenge, performing the most difficult 4lz movement perfectly.

nThe issue lay with his second jump.

nDue to him failing to control his landing, he lost his centre of gravity. His skates slipped and he fell heavily on the ice.

nDong Ge’s coach wrung his wrists and sighed, thinking, it was a pity, but he might be missing the cup this time.

nBut soon, he realised something was wrong.

nDong Ge lay on the ice. As the accompanying music continued to play, no matter how he tried, he couldn’t get up.

nWith a cry of shock, he signalled to the referee team and rushed onto the rink.

nDong Ge’s entire body shivered with pain. He curled up into a ball. As his warm sweat dripped onto the ice, he murmured in a low voice, “……My leg, my leg.”

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nsere: what a terrible cliff but it only gets worse

nbaum: on another note, I’m kinda glad the author brought up the not switching issue? it’s always kinda rubbed me the wrong way when the person on the bottom wants to try being on top and the guy on top is always SUPER against it. I think I’ve even seen one where the guy on top kneed the guy trying to top for once in the crotch :v like, why? if you think it’s that bad, why would you make someone you love go through with that?

nalso, let me know if I’ve got the skating gifs wrong! I don’t really know much, my friend’s the fan not me lmao

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