Chapter 196 Bitter Laugh
“I was a normal woman, who wished to make the country I lived in better. My talents were appreciated by the late queen and eventually, she persuaded her husband to hire me as an aide. He gradually started to rely on me in governing civil affairs as well…”
Cao Xiang started to narrate as she turned to the sea again, with a distant look that returned her to the past.
“When the king was poisoned, the queen was drinking the same wine, so she passed away too. I could not forgive that disgusting son of hers when I found out he was behind the assassination… it was not hard to figure out anyway… who would like losing the position of the crown prince…”
As she talked she sipped on the wine, and Wu Long was ponderingly listening to her.
“During the revolt, the loyalists were so outnumbered, that I had to find a way, so I stole this ship and we sailed off, leaving the once beloved country to live and fight another day. But as we fled, I made a few decisions that brought good results and after some more, the others gradually began to rely on me…”
She said lamenting taking up something she had no experience in under the pressure of expectations and trust.
“I made many mistakes, but we gradually pressed forward. I slowly forgot any hesitation in leading and just decided to strive for when it all ends, and fought hard so that the day I would be free of this duty would come, but when I made a breakthrough in my cultivation, and finally became close to fulfilling that goal…”
She sighed and emptied the wine cup she just poured in one go, and then poured the next one to herself and to Wu Long.
“They came?”
Wu Long asked since she seemed unable to speak about it and she bitterly nodded.
“Haha, my entire struggle of close to a hundred years at the time became a joke, since it turned out I never had a chance”
She said with a self-deprecating laugh. 𝗻𝗼𝐯𝗹.𝐨𝗿𝗴
“But when they told me what might happen to Mei’er who was just a little girl at the time… I… I…”
Her hands trembled and she downed another cup of wine.
“They are not someone who could be opposed… ”
She said in a low voice shaking her head, as she still felt the despair of that time.
“And then it began… the torturous days of not being able to move forward or back, squeezed by the guilt of knowing something I would have been better off not knowing, that we can’t succeed. The expectations and trust from my allies turned into swords that pierced my back, pushing me forward into the wall that I had no way to break, and Mei’er soon grew up and started to wish to help…”
Cao Xiang covered her face with her hand, her slender fingers touching her forehead, as she sighed, unable to speak further. She did not want to admit out loud that the expectant eyes of her daughter, who looked at her as if an idol were driving knives into her heart every time.
“I became passive, trying to keep my people safe, trying to keep her safe by not making any progress, and gripped by fear that someday they might consider us a nuisance… they did not demand much, but each demand they made became a concession, that gradually eroded my sense of right and wrong until…”
‘Until they asked her to trap us’
Wu Long inwardly finished the sentence she stopped herself from saying as shame and guilt gripped her tightly.
“I was not born a leader, and even as I tried to become one I failed…”
She said with utter defeat as now the disappointment in her daughter’s eyes was killing the last dregs of her that she salvaged through the years, and the reflection of her own disappointment in herself in those eyes was now more apparent because of that.
“Sorry, I must have spoiled the wine”
She said as if waking up from a daze, but when she looked at him, his gaze was attentive and that appearance was magnetic. Wu Long looked at her, inexplicably fascinated by this woman. He knew that his intuition was right now as he started to feel attraction to her.
“You do not have to apologize, as I listened of my own volition. You shared this good wine, offering me the company of a beautiful woman as well, what can I complain about?”
He said with a smile, and she wryly smiled in response.
“Heh, sweet talker”
She said, turning her gaze at the reflection of the moon on the surface of the night sea.
“But they played dirty, since if they really could touch you they would have long before you almost succeded”
He said, as Cao Xiang widened her eyes and looked at him.
“What do you mean?”
“Well, they made it look like they are the only entity in this world with such power, but they are not, and there are forces they cannot contend with. The winemaker who makes this wine, who is probably living somewhere in the archipelago is one such example”
Wu Long shrugged his shoulders, as she looked at him with round eyes.
“But that old man is…”
She gasped and closed her mouth with her hand.
“Don’t worry, even if you are not supposed to talk about him, I will have to meet him sooner or later so it is not like you told someone who would not eventually learn about him”
Wu Long said, calming her down about the slip of the tongue she made.
“What I am saying is that your relation to that winemaker likely made you untouchable as long as you did not interfere with the kingdom or them directly, so they were bluffing when they were pressuring you into doing anything beyond not touching their interests”
“But you…”
“I only now learned about the wine, so when I took you with me the reason I told you was true. Besides, it is not like I know for sure, as it is only an assumption that may or may not be true”
She looked at him for some time, trying to figure out the origin of this mysterious young man who knew far more than normal people. But then the meaning of his words gradually caught up to her already sluggish mind.
“Haha… hahaha”
She suddenly started laughing, while Wu Long sighed.
“You want to say that I was a fool who was played by them…hahaha…ahahaha”
She laughed while tears appeared in the corner of her eyes and started streaming down her cheeks not long after. She struggled up and almost lost balance as Wu Long helped her stand.
She froze for a moment as she felt a gentle yet firm touch which she found some comfort in, and turned her head up to see his attentive eyes looking at her. She moved her head for a kiss in a sudden impulse but he placed a finger on her lips, stopping her.
“You are tired and need some rest, thank you for your company and great wine”
He softly said and his finger went up from her lips to her forehead, Spiritual Qi swirling in profound trajectories around it. As she felt a warm touch on her forehead her eyelids became heavy, and soon darkness covered her vision, her consciousness descending into deep slumber.