ELIA

His jaw was tight—with determination, Elia knew. She hoped the others were scenting him to see it. Not believing him afraid.

"I hadn't thought of that,

" Reth admitted, looking at Aymora, then Brant.

"What do you think?

"

"There's no way to know,

" Aymora said.

"I don't believe it should change your decision,

" Brant added.

"Strength of character will always be more important in resisting temptation than strength of body.

"

"It wouldn't change my decision,

" Gahrye insisted.

"But I do want to know what to prepare for.

"

Brant shrugged.

"Prepare for the worst. Then you are equipped. And possibly will be happily surprised.

"

Gahrye snorted, but Aymora spoke up.

"You should prepare yourself for a battle, Gahrye,

" she said carefully, holding his gaze.

"Brant is right—if you prepare for the worst, as if you are human, you will only be equipped. Better to be stronger than needed, rather than weak. But you must also prepare to help your Queen on the other side, because we know she will struggle, and will likely reach the other end of the portal with need for comfort and reassurance.

Reth shifted in his chair, but Elia stroked his arm with her free hand.

Gahrye nodded. Aymora looked at Candace, who nodded to.

"Very well, then,

" Aymora said.

"We'll continue. The other warning we have from the histories is that Anima must go through the portal one at a time. We aren't sure why. But there are stories of Anima harmed by trying to traverse the portal together. We don't know if humans suffer the same fate, so we simply warn everyone. It is impossible to know how much time is spent in the portal—whether time even works the same way there that it does in our worlds. So we have made it a policy to leave an hour between passes. So far that has caused no problems. But it does mean that whoever goes first spends a great deal of time in the human world alone. That whoever waits, waits here alone. I cannot stress this enough. You cannot risk entering together, or entering too soon after another.

"

"What happens to the people who have?

" Elia asked.

Aymora swallowed.

"Some never returned, so we don't know. In one case, two entered, but only one made it to the human side, but that Lupine was… empty. A shell. We don't know why. They were eventually returned to Anima for treatment, but our ancestors were never able to determine what had happened. It was as if the body lived, but the person within was gone.

"

Elia put her elbows to the table and dropped her face to press the heels of her hands into her eyes.

"This all seems so… desperately risky.

"

"Only the traverse,

" Reth said quietly, rubbing her back.

"Once you are there, you must just live the life given you. Attend to the tasks. And wait. The danger is far lower there—especially with Anima guards.

"

"Unless of course I lose my mind.

"

"We will be staying in close contact,

" Aymora said with a glance at Reth.

"If there seems to be any problems, we will bring you back, even if it's risky.

"

"I will come for you, Elia,

" Reth whispered in her ear.

"I vow it.

"

She turned her head to meet his eyes, put one of her hands to his face. So many things she wanted to say sitting there in her throat. But she couldn't. Not with all these people.

"My best advice,

" Brant said, probably to take the attention off of them,

"is that the Guardian go through first, then Elia, then her companion follows, so she is never alone or unassisted on either side.

"

Reth's face dragged down, but he caught himself and turned from her, to Brant.

"I agree,

" he said hoarsely.

Elia squeezed his shoulder and sat up. She needed to be strong. If she needed to fall apart, it would have to be when Reth couldn't see and wouldn't know. Otherwise he'd go back on this. She knew. Like her, he was suddenly being hit with the impending separation, the risk it brought, and how difficult it would be to not see each other, to not know what was happening in the other's world.

To wonder if they were still alive.

Elia put a hand to her stomach and took a deep breath. She had to do this, she knew. But how she wished there were another way.

"Let's assume we make the traverse successfully,

" she said through a sigh.

"What then? I'm assuming my bank accounts will still be place, but my home will have been given to someone else by now. And I won't have my ID or anything else. It may take time to—

"

"We have… assistance on that side,

" Reth said quietly, not meeting her eyes.

"You will only have to get to them—and they're very close to the portal. They will get you set up.

"

"What is ID?

" Gahrye asked.

"Identification,

" Reth and Elia said at the same time. Then he smiled sadly at her.

"It's a little card with your picture and information about you. It's used to make sure your money and resources, anything you've paid for or any… look, it's just proof that you are who you are.

"

"Can't they just… tell that you are you?

"

"There are many, many more humans than there are Anima, Gahrye,

" Reth warned.

"You will find it overwhelming at first. So many of them, they do not always know each other even when they live in close quarters, or are from the same families.

"

Elia nodded.

"And it depends whether you're in the city, too. There's far more people in the city, but they stay away from each other as much as they can.

"

All the Anima frowned at her.

"The more of them there are, the… further they stay away? How is that possible?

"

Elia blinked and realized… they didn't know any of this. So she took a moment to explain about fences, locked doors, garages, and security systems. About walking the streets without meeting eyes—and standing in line without speaking.

Though Reth was more familiar than the others even he shook his head at her description. The others ranged from stunned to angry.

"No wonder these people want to stay here once they arrive,

" Brant said, his voice verging on disgust.

"The Creator never intended for the human heart to be so… isolated.

"

Elia shrugged.

"Probably not. But… people hurt each other. A lot. It's how they've come to protect themselves. Distance feels like defense.

"

All of the Anima frowned.

"I don't think humans understand how a defense should be mounted,

" Behryn muttered.

"Trust me,

" Elia smiled,

"They would find you just as strange.

"

She was hit with a pang then. She hadn't missed her life while she'd been in Anima. With Reth here and everything that had happened, at first there hadn't been time. And later she hadn't wanted to go back.

Now… the idea of going back gave her a pit in her stomach.

"At least I won't be seen as weak anymore,

" she muttered under her breath.

"You never were. At least, not by me,

" Reth breathed back.

They looked at each other again, and the others all found a reason to look elsewhere for a moment.

*****

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