RETH

They did pack a bag for Elia. And when she left the bedchamber to find a shawl, he slipped his gift into the bottom of the bag for her to find later.

His hand shook when he drew it out.

Every part of him vibrated, as if he trembled under his skin. Every instinct within him screamed not to leave her, not to let her leave him. But he knew… he knew… If she stayed, it was a death sentence. Probably for her. Definitely for many people. She was too vulnerable here, under these circumstances. It was a risk keeping her here as long as he was. But he was weak. So weak.

So, he swallowed his fear, and his self-loathing, and helped her find the things she wanted to take. He answered the visits from Behryn in preparation. He received Brant and Aymora when they returned to sit with Elia. But she hadn't thought of any new questions, and the way he paced while they spoke, all three of them ended up watching him more than speaking to each other.

He didn't even apologize.

He wanted them to leave.

He needed them to leave.

He needed his mate. Desperately.

*****

ELIA

She'd never seen Reth like this. So obviously disturbed. So incapable of hiding his feelings. When she realized all that she, Aymora, and Brant were doing was watching him be agitated, she looked at them both.

"I am so grateful for you,

" she said quietly, fighting tears.

"Aymora, please watch over him for me?

"

"Of course. I have watched him since he was a cub. I'll only be more diligent now that he doesn't have your eyes to catch him being foolish.

" The older female gave a watery smile. Elia got to her feet and gathered Aymora in for a hug that lasted a good long while.

"If I had a daughter, I would wish for her to have your heart,

" Aymora whispered in her ear.

The tears did come then. She left a wet patch on poor Brant's shirt, but the older man only stroked her hair.

"Spring always follows Winter, Elia,

" he murmured to her as they hugged, and she cried.

"Without fail. The brighter day is coming. There will be great fruit born out of this pain.

"

She nodded and tried to mop herself up, finally letting him to go to speak with Reth. Then with a final hug from Aymora, they left.

Reth barred the door again, then made a terrible, grieving call that seemed to come from such a deep place she worried he was hurting himself.

He turned and pulled her into his arms and she sobbed his name and went and they clung to each other.

"Elia, I know you're tired and sore, and this is…

"

"I want you, Reth,

" she stuttered against his chest.

"I need you.

"

With a resonant groan, he tipped up her chin and kissed her. Then, just as her breath sped up, he pulled away, took her by the hand and led her to the bedchamber. He barred the door there because there were still guards posted at the top of waterfall into the bathing pools. And… just in case.

He didn't blow out the lanterns and she didn't ask him to. They needed to see each other. To sear the memories in.

So she unbuttoned her blouse and shoved off her pants, not in the rush of lust, but in desperation to get him close. And when they were both naked, she kissed him, then crawled backwards onto the sleeping platform, pulling him up with her.

He crawled up after her, then over her as she laid down, her head on the pillow. But as she stroked his chests and shoulders, he didn't lower himself to lay on her. Instead he gazed at her, his hair falling down around his face, his eye tight and red with grief.

He didn't speak, just stroked her with one hand, and his eyes, drinking in the sight of her. With her fingers trailing over his skin, and into his hair, she waited, her breath ratcheting up as he made the mating call, and stroked her breast, rolling her nipple under the pad of his thumb.

With a groan, he finally let himself relax, his hips dropping to hers, his knees between hers, but he still braced his arms so he loomed over her.

"Words, Elia… They're failing me,

" he whispered.

She nodded.

"I know. Me too.

"

"I need to show you how I feel.

"

"Me too.

"

"I love you, Elia, so much it… it threatens to unhinge me.

"

"Oh, Reth, I know.

"

His words would bring her tears and stop them from being together, she knew, so she put her hands to his neck and pulled him down. He came willingly, with a heavy sigh. And then he began to show her.

He spoke his love by combing his fingers into her hair so that her scalp prickled deliciously as he tongued her neck and murmured her name at her throat.

He voiced his grief, raising goosebumps on her side by dragging his fingertips down her arm, then sliding his hand from her hip, all the way up, until he cupped her breast and groaned against it with his mouth.

He told of his desire by nudging at her heat until the fire began to spread within her, lightening in her veins. And when she couldn't wait any longer, when she began to plead for him, he declared that he alone possessed her by rolling into her with an echoing call that broke at the end in a groaning huff.

And then their bodies danced, to the music of their panting breaths, to the beat of their hearts, to the call of the desperate grief.

Elia was lost in him—his warmth, his touch, the groaning call of grief he continued to make, even as their pace increased. The heat of his mouth on her neck. The comfort of his weight all over her that screamed his presence—still here. Still vital. Not gone.

And though words failed them both, as they clung, and kissed, and joined, over and over, their souls could hear the call of love. The screamed declaration of possession. The comfort of unity—oneness that they shared.

And the blinding grief they couldn't describe, but that was lifted only for a moment as they rode the wave together, a shattered as one.

*****

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