ELIA

As soon as she closed the door on them she wished she hadn't. She knew she was venting her frustrations on Gahrye and Kalle and that wasn't fair. They were putting their own needs aside to help her at a time when they should have been reveling in each other. And it was her fault. She wasn't handling this well.

A shudder rocked through her and she felt her back ripple, felt the beast pushing through, wanting to take over, and she almost gave in. Almost.

She stood next to that door for the next several minutes, ignoring the whispered voices she could catch and focusing on white-knuckling her way through keeping the beast at bay.

When she finally felt herself enough to move, she was trembling from head to toe.

That had been close. She did need to rest. And be calm. And not think about things that made her feel bad, or angry, or scared.

Memories of those cackling voices in the traverse whispered through her head and she shied away from them.

She needed something else to concentrate on! She looked at the books in her hand, but then shook her head. There was no way she could concentrate enough to be certain she'd absorb anything within them. No, she needed to move, needed to do something productive. Something calming.

Outside the sun broke out from behind a cloud and shone brightly through the window, suddenly, casting shadows from the deep, old-fashioned windowsills that were deep enough for her to sit in if she squeezed. She needed to put the books somewhere safe and she needed to figure out something to do…

Then her eyes fell on the bag squatting in the shadow below the windowsill. Her bag from Anima. She'd been ignoring it—she couldn't use most of those things here. And they only made her ache to leave. But maybe leaving them there like that, a constant reminder was the problem. Maybe… maybe she should unpack those things so they were out of sight. It wasn't like she didn't have enough furniture and storage in this room to unpack her entire life from Anima and still have space.

Yes. Fine. She would unpack the bag, then wrap the books in the bag and stow that away. And then… then maybe she'd go apologize to Gahrye and Kalle.

Her skin still itched, and she still felt like she was wrestling with something on the inside, but having a plan, something to focus on, did seem to help. So she strode over to the bag, picked it up—it was lighter than she remembered—and dropped it onto the bed.

Anima didn't use zippers, so their bags were closed by wooden pegs and loops. There were eight of them on the large duffle-shaped bag, and she worked to undo all of them, before she started pulling out clothing items one by one.

The smell that came with them almost made her weep, and yet it calmed her too.

She was there. The clean smell of stone and water, pine and the healthy kind of dirt you found in a forest were all there. And she could pick out all of them now. But… but she could also smell Reth.

A tiny sob broke in her throat as she unbuttoned the flannel shirt and jeans she'd put on that morning and dressed in her Anima leathers and cotton blouse.

She couldn't leave the house in these. They made her look like a cross between a cowboy and a hippie—and not a cool one. But no one was here. And the smell on her body, the soft fabrics… They made her feel like she was going home.

Fuck, she wished she was going home.

Shaking her head, she dug back into the bag, pulling out the piles of clothes, and that paper-wrapped stack of dried beef she'd forgotten. Well, at least she had something if she didn't want to go down to dinner tonight, she supposed.

Reluctantly, she stacked the clothes in the deep drawers of one of the units along the wall, between the windows. Then she went back to the bag to pull out more.

There were the warm, plush leggings she'd begged Candace to make for the colder months. More of the cotton and linen blouses… Had she brought the dress? She'd thought about it, but decided it was too risky to travel with it. Hadn't she?

She dug deeper and saw a snatch of blue. With a gasp she grabbed at it and pulled out the scarf she'd used when she offered herself to Reth.

And the scent of him was stronger on that.

Choking back tears, she brought it to her nose and inhaled deeply.

The mating call broke in her throat and she clapped her hand over her mouth. She'd never made that noise before. She put her hand to her own throat. What else would she do now that she hadn't before? Would Reth like it? Or would it freak him out when she went back and she was so different?

The image of Reth, staring at her, his nostrils flaring, and his brows pinching because she didn't smell like herself anymore sent a spear of fear into her chest. She couldn't think about that!

Desperate, she grabbed the bag and turned it upside down on the bed, shaking it to get the rest out, to make sure she didn't miss anything—had she packed any other keepsakes? But all that tumbled out were more clothes, another pack of dried beef, and… a thin, paper parcel tied in string.

She blinked. She didn't recognize it at all. Had Aymora or Brant given her something she'd forgotten about?

But then she turned it over and saw the handwriting.

Reth.

Reth had snuck something into her bag.

The mating call groaned from her as she crawled onto the bed. Curling up, she brought it to her nose and inhaled… Reth.

Her mate. Her love. Her husband… He was all over this and she'd missed it. She'd left it the bag sitting there all these weeks.

Before she even opened it, she clutched it to her chest and wept.