” Try to identify her’

”The police are trying to solve the case”

”It’s been a cold case”

”Asking for you”

”She identified you by name and gave us your contact name”

”Her name is Yue “

”Yue Yan”

”Trauma of the accident”

”Amnesia”

”Awake”

Lei Zhao couldn’t help the low hum of shock that threatened to shake him physically.

In his mind, snippets of conversation whirled around, teasing him with a thousand scenarios, every one worse than the last but also tinged with a suffocating level of anticipation and hope.

”Calm down” he scolded himself, his voice purposefully harsh but it didn’t do much to calm him down. Hope was such a terrible drug to be mixed up in.

Preoccupied with his thoughts, he was startled by the soft, “you may see her now”

Lei Zhao clambered to his feet gracelessly to find a tall lady wearing scrubs regarding him with a rueful and understanding smile. “Sorry to startle you”

”It’s nothing” Lei Zhao deflected, anticipatory nerves making his words shaky “lost in my thoughts, it doesn’t take much doing”

”The doctor is done with her now, let me lead you to her room” the nurse replied

”Thank you” Lei Zhao returned, but he was talking to thin air. The scrubs wearing nurse had already slipped out of the room and was heading away through the corridor at a measured but fast clip, Lei Zhao followed hot on her heels, unwilling to lose sight of her

The smell of the hospital around him brought back several memories, many of which he didn’t want to experience again. He clenched his fist against the onslaught, breathing through his mouth trying to dilute the burn of antiseptic in his nose.

It was a futile action, it was more than the stark scent or chemicals. If death, the gradual and inevitable loss of hope coupled with a wave of frustrated anger had a smell, he was perceiving it right now. It seemed every hospital had that smell and no matter how hard he tried, it kept with him, seeping through his pores, into his skin and his mind.

He shuddered and tried to walk faster, he’d never known hospital corridors to be so long and foreboding.

The nurse stalled in front of a room door and went in after a single knock. Lei Zhao slipped in and saw a body lying feebly in bed.

As if she sensed him, the body came awake in slow degrees, turning to him with an unerring certainly before the eyelids opened to shower a confused gaze on him.

Lei Zhao gasped, he couldn’t help it, it was like a terrible blow and every Christmas of his life rolled into one “Yue Yan?” he asked softly as if a raised voice would make the apparition in front of him disappear.

”Lei Zhao?” the voice came, just as softly filled with a lot of confusion and terribly unsure.

Lei Zhao quickly sidestepped the nurse and headed for his best friend with a small grunt of disbelief erupting from his throat “oh my God, Yue Yan it’s you, it’s really you.”

With more confidence than before yet coupled with a shaky smile, she replied “is it really you dude? Am I dreaming again?”

”No, you’re not dreaming, it’s really me. You’re back with us.” Lei Zhao reassured her, his voice pitched low to be soothing

I was lost for the longest time and I didn’t know if my dreams were real” Yun Yan recalled in a soft voice tinged with fear, almost hesitant to admit it. Lei Zhao almost choked at the vulnerable words, he moved closer and caught his friend’s hands before sitting on the bedside chair provided just for that purpose.

Lei Zhao lifted his hands and wiped the tears from his friend’s face. He knew how it was when a person’s greatest enemy was their own damn mind, he’d been there before “I know honey, I know, but you’re with me now, completely safe”

”I believe you, in my dreams, I was never in the hospital. Just shopping, eating, and smiling. Sometimes parties and dancing but never a hospital” Yue Yan smiled, giving him an impish smile that was much too familiar, one he had never expected to see again in this lifetime.

”Attagirl” he crooned in soft praise

”I mean if this was my dream, I’d love a really hot doctor in it, no offense nurse”, the last part directed at the nurse somehow still in the room, Lei Zhao chuckled softly, he had completely forgotten about her when he caught sight of his friend, his eyes were riveted on the familiar smirk on s face, Yue Yan’s was bolder, more like the one he knew in the past

”None was taken, I guess that’s my cue to butt out, please don’t tire her out.” The nurse chipped in before walking out, closing the doors softly behind her

”I’ve missed you, champ” the voice came again and Lei Zhao tightened his hand around Yue Yan’s own, afraid that if he let go, his friend would just fade away.

”Not a much as I have missed you cupcake” and he meant it, he had felt betrayed, angry and sad when he thought that she had left him alone when he needed her the most, and now, here she was and it was almost as if a part of him couldn’t believe it. Not yet

They sat like that for the longest time. Filling the position room with frantic words trying to reconnect and putting names to faces for her and him, unfortunately, tired her out, at a point she had fallen asleep but he had remained on beside her, worried and planning. It was his forte.

The ringing phone startled him, it was a low humidity that he felt through his skin but it was enough to bring him back from around some ten million thoughts crowding his head to the present.

He removed the phone from his breast pocket, spied his caller, and just sighed. He smiled for the first time since he had entered the hospital, the relief in his voice and body palpable as he walked out of the small hospital room, closed the door with a soft click, and answered the call.