Chapter 0230 , SEBASTIAN. , The sound of the shower running fills the room and I sit on the bed, running my fingers through my hair for the hundredth time. , How do I do this? , There’s no time left… , I have to leave her… , Standing up, I leave the room silently and walk down the hall to the children’s room. The light to Jai’s room is on and I can hear quiet talking. , I hope for what it’s worth that his injury at least helped Valerie forgive him a little. To this day, I don’t think Jai was in his right mind when he ended up sleeping with Cara back then. , He had been so distraught I don’t think he even knew who it was in that bed, simply rambling about how he needed to find Valerie. , I make sure I’m not making any sound as I slip into the children’s room and look at the two little angels in bed. They’re fast asleep and I realise I’m leaving them again. , I’m always leaving them. I sit down on the bed and look down at Zion, running my fingers through his dark hair. , Take care of your mom and this pack, son. Be the Alpha I never could be., Why did she have to love me? Why did she have to be fated to a fool like me? All I do is hurt her even when I don’t want to… , I look over at Sia, her pale cheeks are flushed with a pink hue, and her breathing is shallow. , He poisoned her… my little princess… , I brush a few strands of her hair off her face. It’s so similar to Zaia’s… She’s going to grow up and look just like her mother and she will grow up. , She will live a healthy and happy life. , I will get that antidote. Even if it’s the last thing I do, she will survive this and she will heal. , My heart clenches, the pain in my chest is almost crippling. Leaning down, I kiss , 25 BONOS , her forehead softly, inhaling her scent. , I’m sorry I won’t get to see you grow. I kiss her hand gently before I kiss Zion, knowing he’ll grow up strong. , Take care of your sister for me, son. , I close my eyes, trying to calm the storm that is bubbling inside of me. Casting a final glance at the children, I stand up, not wanting Zaia to realise I’m missing from the bedroom. , I get up, turning away and then stop. Turning back, I look down at them once more, questioning myself. , What kind of father is never there?, One you don’t need. , I gaze at their faces, knowing I’ll never forget this moment. , I love you both so **ing much and I don’t deserve you. , My eyes are stinging, but I take a deep breath, turning away for the final time and striding to the door. If I look back, I don’t know if I’ll be able to walk away with the strength I need. , Returning to the bedroom, I can still hear the sound of water. The shower is still running, and I silently lock the door. , Pulling my top off, I get into bed, place my arms behind my head and close my , eyes. , I hear the shower switch off and after a few moments I hear her enter the bedroom, her scent mixed with the smell of her bath products…. , I’m going to miss this… , I keep my breathing steady as I sense her watching me before there’s a rustle as she gets dressed. There are a few moments of silence before I feel the bed dip and she slowly gets in between the sheets, trying not to disturb me. , “Hm,” she murmurs, and I feel her fingers gently comb through my hair. ” Goodnight, handsome.” , My heart clenches as she leans in and gently kisses my forehead. The thudding of her heart already making my resolve break. , I can’t do this. Fuck, I can’t leave her., My eyes snap open, and she’s watching me with concern. “Hey, are you okay?” , 25 BONOS , she asks, caressing my jaw. She must have picked up on the change in my heart , rate. , “Yeah,” I say, unable to look directly into those amethyst orbs. Instead, I tug her close, wrapping my arms around her tightly. , Her heart is thudding in rhythm to my own. , “Bastien…” she murmurs, and I pull her head to my chest. , I don’t respond- I can’t. , Not without giving myself away. , ‘Bastien… talk to me,‘ she pleads through the mind link. , ‘It’s been a long day, I’m just glad you are ok.‘ I reply quietly. , She makes the mistake of looking up at me, concern clear in her eyes, Search the website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.