Chapter 0359 , Jai’s. , A flare of pain rushes through me and I’m about to rush over and snatch it from his hand when he speaks. , “This is him, isn’t it? The man I killed.” , My eyes flash, pain and guilt coursing through me. “Yeah, it is. Forgotten what he looks like?” I ask coldly, snatching the picture from him, my heart thundering. , “I killed many in that battle. They were but a number… I never remember the faces of those I kill, anyway. They end up all looking the same… , “Yeah, a killer with no remorse,” I say bitterly, feeling angrier at myself than at him. He killed Jai and I’m here watching movies and offering him coffee. I gaze down at Jai’s face, my heart breaking. , I’m so sorry…. , “He didn’t love you enough.” , His words gut me and it feels as if I have been slapped across my face. , “He didn’t, or he would have been right here with you.” , “Because you killed him!” I snarl, closing the gap between us and pushing him with everything I have. He staggers back a little, but he’s still as emotionless and unbothered as always. “You clearly don’t care! You’re just a murderer!”, “Sure… I knew you were pretty clueless when it came to war and battle, but I didn’t realise you’re so uneducated on the matter. Deaths happen… just the way you all blew up hundreds of men who had no choice but to join in… I don’t see you and your people being called killers for that, right?” , “You attacked us! We defended!” I scream, feeling my blood boil. , “Yeah, sure. But believe me or not, he didn’t love you enough or he would have been here.” , “He died protecting someone! He’s a hero, and he’s selfless. He didn’t bother about himself! Unlike you, he put others first!” I spit. , “As I said, his duty and conscience were more important than you… that was proved when he willingly sacrificed himself for a man who had no one anyway,” , “Hugh has Zaia!” I snarl. , “Yeah… and she has her man, her kids and her dad now. Lucky her. Who do you have?” , Each sentence is hitting me like a punch in the stomach. , “I have my friends and family, too.” I snarl. , He now advances on me, his good eye glimmering. , “He may have saved Toussaint, but he left you to suffer, alone.” , “He didn’t… he…” my eyes blur with tears, the pain of losing Jai always remained but I can’t deny that he’s saying the things that deep down in my moments of darkest grief have gnawed at me. “When I was in a coma, he looked after me. He , me.”, didn’t have to, but he did!” , His hand wraps around my throat, but I’m not afraid of him as i glare at him with rage and hurt. Why is he so calm? , How can he even think like that? The pain inside of me is almost crippling. , “Yeah, because deep down the guilt of cheating on you remained,” he whispers almost mockingly before he scoffs. “Think whatever you want, but the truth is, if a man can’t put you before the world, then he is nothing more than a hero who didn’t deserve love.” , “Exactly, he’s a hero! That’s something you will never be!” I hiss, glaring up at him. “Jai would have died for me.” , “You’re right, I’ll never be like him, cus I wouldn’t want to be… like you said, he’d die for you. The thing is, Little Mate, what good am I to you dead?” 2 , “You don’t-” , “I’ll show myself out,” he whispers before he lets go of me and leaves. , My heart is pounding as I stand there, hearing the patio door shut as I close my eyes. My emotions are an inferno within me. , I drop onto the floor, looking at the picture of Jai. His brilliant blue eyes gaze back at me until my tears blur them away. , I loved you Jai… but how is it that something inside of me is pulling me towards your killer? , Life is hard., Death is harder. , But love? Love is the hardest. , Chapter 0360 , VALERIE., Search the website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.