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nHe led his limbs stiffly— becoming increasingly sore as they were— as he walked behind the screen.

nIt took quite a long time to remove a party suit with many buttons.

nFurthermore, because of a wound on the tip of his finger, it was more difficult than usual for him to undo the buttons.

nWhy did such a simple task become so troublesome?

n. . . because of Rieta.

nBecause she had said that she was leaving this house.

nWhen the thought of the word leaving crossed his mind, there was an afterimage of his childhood that would surface no matter how hard he tried to suppress it.

nA promise to return in spring.

nThe blurred view of her back.

nWords he had to endure until the end.

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nIt was a great fear for him.

nRietta is leaving too.

nFor a moment, he paused in his action.

nCould it be that Noel’s gestures were not taken to heart?

nSoon, Darrell’s voice was heard.

n“Noel, are you okay?”

n“I’m here, brother.”

nNoel spoke with difficulty, his voice choked with tears.

n“I- I . . . If only . . .”

nIn fact throughout all those years of waiting in vain for his mother, he had a thought that had resurfaced time and time again.

nIf Noel had let go of that ‘good boy’ image, if he had acted with a little more honesty at her departure . . .

n“Don’t go! I hate it when you leave me!”

nIf he cried out loud while holding onto her skirt so much that it bothered her . . .

nWhat would have happened differently?

nHis father and mother would almost certainly have been very disappointed with Noel.

n“You’re not acting as a noble child should.”

nEven so . . .

n“It wouldn’t matter if you ended up hating me forever . . .”

nThose words were no louder than a whisper.

nIf only he could turn back time.

nHe would have clung onto his mother with all his strength. Even if it meant giving up all familial affection and love.

nIf she had stayed . . . Being hated would not have been at all that scary.

nBut waiting for a distant spring was far too long.

n“. . .”

nThe wound reopened.

nTears fell down, a stream entirely of sorrow.

n* * *

nDarrell stayed with Noel until dawn.

nIn all truth, Darrell had had similar thoughts to Noel.

nHe just never expressed those feelings. Perhaps even their father had felt the same way as his two sons

nThe three of them were clearly afraid of someone ‘leaving’.

nIt also had to do with their failure to protect the Duchess.

nEndemic diseases, they had said.

nIt was a periodic outbreak in the Duchy. Very few inhabitants had ever contracted the disease.

nBut their mother was from another land.

nThe endemic disease quickly turned a healthy woman into a still body buried in the ground.

nThe duke, a close associate of the emperor, was banned from even guarding his wife’s deathbed.

nHe had resisted at the time, but later understood that he had no choice but to comply.

nIf that terrible disease had struck the Duke and had spread to others in the Capital . . .

nPerhaps something even more terrifying would have begun.

nWhat was understood by one’s mind, however, did not always leave one’s heart unscarred.

nMoreover, the Duchess’s body was not even allowed to enter the capital city where her children were raised.

nThey had said that it was because the body carried a disease.

nEven in the end, in death, she was unable to return to the Duchy.

nThe spring she had promised Noel had passed many times. And would continue to do so for many more.

n“Maybe, Noel.”

nDarrell stroked the head of his younger brother, who had fallen asleep while crying.

n“You may be right.”

nIt might have been better to live as a bad child than as a good child who had meekly lost something precious to them.

n“However . . .”

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nOne’s happiness was something else altogether.

nSorry, Noel.

nHe didn’t know the correct choice either.

nDarrell was sorry that he didn’t possess such wisdom.

nHe didn’t believe that he was capable of giving any light to Noel. Noel, who was lost in the darkness.

nInstead, I will wander through the darkness, right by your side.

nHe didn’t want him to hurt so much.

nHis pretty little brother . . .

nDarrell gently clasped Noel’s little hand.

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