Chapter 50 - That's What I Thought
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nAvery changed the subject and she and Vanessa chatted about wedding plans for a while. She was stalling to avoid talking to Angelo and she knew it but she couldn't put it off forever. This might not end well over phone call so she decided to go to his place. It was only a dozen blocks from here.
nChristian was still on the phone with his mother and nodded his understanding when she mouthed that she was going to meet with Angelo. He would probably be stuck there for a while.
nShe pushed through her exhaustion despite not wanting to leave the apartment again for the rest of the day when she got home. This was something that needed to be handled in person.
nHe wasn't sentimental like she was. He had sold the apartment he grew up in after his father's death, unable to handle being surrounded by memories all the time. His current building was a bit closer to his work and he had a second bedroom used solely for his computer equipment.
nAvery rang his bell and he answered wearing a headset and looking exhausted.
"What are you doing here, Güera? Haven't you ever heard of calling ahead?
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"This can't wait.
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nAngelo saw she was serious and frowned before letting her in and taking off the headset.
"What's up?
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"You can't yell at me. This is important to me so I need to get it all out, okay?
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"…what did you do?
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nHe didn't even have to ask the question because a moment later he zeroed in on the ring and yelped, pointing at it accusingly. She sighed and began speaking quickly to get it all out before he could lecture her.
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"Yes, I got engaged. No, it won't affect our mission. Christian knows I have things going on and has no intention of stopping me. We've lived together for months and there haven't been any issues. There aren't going to be any. You know how careful I am. Marrying him won't be any different than the way things are now.
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"I know you think he's nothing but a distraction but he makes me happy, Angelo, and I haven't been happy since our dads died. I don't do as much for the cause as you do anyway so it's not like I'll have time constraints. Mostly I sit around waiting for the next mission and I don't want to wait to start the rest of my life because of it.
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"The goal was always to end this so people could live happily. We count in that number too and I want to start planning for my future now. He asked and I couldn't say no. Call me weak, call me crazy, call me stupid but you won't stop me. I'm getting married whether you like it or not,
" Avery finished defiantly with tears in her eyes.
nAngelo took a very deep breath, looking like he was about to burst a blood vessel. He gestured wildly with his hands several times while he was unable to speak. It seemed he was still trying to find words to tell her how dumb she was.
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"Are you insane?!
" he exploded after a few minutes of trying.
"There are a million reasons this is a bad idea! What are you thinking?!
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"I'm thinking I never wanted to be a villain in the first place, Angelo! I never wanted ANY of this. I'm a cake artist! My head is full of sugar, as you always like to say, and I was never cut out for all of this sneaking around and being a freedom fighter,
" Avery sobbed as the dam broke.
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"Nobody ever asked me what I wanted. My dad programmed the suit to my biometrics as a last resort that was never supposed to happen. I did it because I felt like I had to but I'm not good at this! I'm not good at the lies or the pressure or the fighting.
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"I'm a peaceful person by nature. I don't even like killing bugs and I have to knock people out on a regular basis! I might even have to kill before this is all over and the thought horrifies me.
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"For three years I've lived solely for the mission. Everything else in my life was incidental. I was wasting time between weekends only to do it all over again! I tried to find enjoyment in it as best I could but I wasn't happy!
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"I'm going to see this through to the end but I need to do things for me too. I need to live for myself instead of only revenge. Can you at least try to understand that? Please? FOR FIVE MINUTES CAN YOU THINK ABOUT HOW HARD THIS HAS BEEN FOR ME?
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nAngelo looked taken aback. Avery rarely cried and rarely yelled at him either despite their frequent bickering.
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"You've hated this so much?
" he asked blankly.
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"Of course I have! Do you have any idea how exhausting it is jumping around all night doing insulin deliveries? And that's my favorite part of this thankless job because of the people we're able to help.
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"I hate not being able to live my life. I hate living in fear. I hate being on-call and having to drop everything at any time when you guys need the muscle to jump into the fray. The uncertainty, the secrecy, how it never seems to end.
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"I've done my best not to complain even to myself. I tried to find enjoyment where I could because that's the kind of person I am. Otherwise the depression and anger from losing our dads would have crushed me.
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"So let me be happy, okay? Spare me the lecture for once in your life. I know what I'm doing. I guarantee I've thought about all of the possibilities more than you have and I'm prepared to bear any potential consequences. Just…let me have this,
" Avery sniffled.
nAngelo was still staring at her.
"Why didn't you say anything?
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"Would you have listened?
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"I…
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"That's what I thought. Anyway, I don't expect you to congratulate me. But if you try and talk me out of it I'll never forgive you. Ever. That's all I had to say. Get back to whatever it was you were doing. Goodnight.
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nAvery stormed out the front door before she lost her resolve. Not letting Angelo get a word in edgewise was the best choice even though she was tempted to cry again.
nIf things were different her best friend would be happy for her. But they weren't and at this rate she wasn't even sure he would come to her wedding. He was probably really angry at her right now and only bothering not to chase after her so he didn't say something that would ruin decades of friendship.
nShe headed home in a huff. All of that had been building up for a very, very long time. Her resentment at being given this role she never wanted. At meeting the perfect man at the worst possible time. At the whole world being stacked against her.
nNo mom. No dad. Now possibly no more Angelo for anything other than missions. This seriously sucked.
nBut Christian was waiting for her when she arrived and looked at her anxiously before giving her a hug.
"Hey, how did it go?
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"Not sure, honestly. I kind of gave him my spiel then left before he could argue. I really wasn't in the mood. Do you have that cake anywhere? Because cake sounds amazing right now.
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"Yeah, it's in our room. I picked it up earlier while you were at work. I'll go get it.
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nHe sweetly kissed her lips before going to fetch the cake. It was delicious and the sugar helped her feel slightly better. She could deal with the fallout of everything later. Right now she was celebrating being engaged with her fiancé eating a cake made by one of her favorite cake artists. Everything was fine.
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"We need to book a photographer so we can make our announcements,
" Avery said, remembering something she had talked about with Vanessa.
"The sooner the better.
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"Do you want to look that up when we're done with the cake?
" Christian asked.
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"Yeah. We have a lot to do. I need to talk to your mom and set up some sort of planning group chat. I want everything to be nice. Do you know who you want to be groomsmen? For bridesmaids the only people I can really think of are Vanessa, Jorge's girlfriend Maribel, and Marianne. So that leaves you to find three people as well.
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"There's Liam. As for the other two I can probably convince a couple of guys I knew in law school. That shouldn't be a problem.
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"Great!
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nAvery wanted to focus on planning. On what she could control instead of what she couldn't. Angelo likely wouldn't be speaking to her for anything other than letting her know about missions for quite some time and she didn't want to think about that.
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