n

n

nI had a dream.

nIn my dream, there was a young me standing in a long hallway.

nWhen I turned my head to the side, there was a railing, and below it, I could see a large hall and a massive door on the first floor.

nWhen I turned my head back, there was a wall.

nUnlike the previous one, there was nothing in the background.

nThere was a tingling sensation coming from my smaller hand that came into view.

nThere was a small scratch that surprised me.

n‘When did this happen?’

nOh yeah.

nThis was a wound caused by Alastair.

n

n

nAlastair threw a vase at me.

nI had reflexively raised my hand to avoid the flying container, and it hit my hand.

nThis was a wound I got then.

nCreak—

nMaybe because it was a dream, the sound of the door opening sounded even louder and grotesque.

nI turned in the direction of the ringing pitch.

nI thought I was alone, but suddenly there are three more people besides me.

nTwo men in uniforms are dragging a boy from each arm.

nI thought that the servants would treat the boy more carefully.

nThe boy’s name is Alastair.

nIt’s still an unfamiliar and awkward name even though several years have passed since he came to his mansion.

nWith every step the men take the boy recoils and shakes wildly.

nHis head lifted slightly.

nHis purple eyes flashed as he saw me. It happened in the blink of an eye.

nAlastair rushed at me.

nThe vigilant servants, who were on guard, were greatly embarrassed.

n“Agh……!” Gasp

nAlastair grabbed my neck and started to strangle me.

nThud!

nAlastair’s body fell over mine on the floor.

n“Get him— right now!”

n“How dare you—Miss…!”

nThe servants who ran belatedly pulled Alastair off of me.

nHe struggled to escape their arms, but he was too weak to do so. Because he was young and small.

n“I am ·······! Why am I ·······!”

nAlastair shouted with a voice full of poison:

n“I have to love something like you…! But I hate it! I hate it!”

nSupported by the attendant, I got up and rubbed my neck. My throat was sore and throbbing.

nI wasn’t startled because he was often aggressive with me.

nAt that time, I was so used to it that I couldn’t imagine what would happen next.

nWhat would Alastair be like after brainwashing

n* * *

nI had forgotten.

nMemories buried deep from a long time ago resurfaced in my dreams. I chewed them over.

nI woke up early, ate right away, and with Lida’s help, I changed into my outdoor clothes.

n“Are you going?”

n“Um, yes.”

nAs I left the hallway to go out, I ran into Igelto.

nEven if I didn’t say it, he had a rough idea of where I was going.

nI was going to Melford to retrieve those brainwashing scented candles.

n“Have a safe trip.”

n“Yes, I’ll be right back.”

nI sent a letter to Mikhail and asked him to look at the Duke’s schedule.

nIt would be a little safer to visit while she was away from the mansion.

nHe asked why, but I didn’t say.

nI mumbled and got into the carriage and leaned against my back.

nMy heart is shaking already.

nI closed my eyes to calm the tremor.

nIt wasn’t long before the carriage started.

nI closed my eyes, and a darkness of nothing unfolded.

nSuddenly, the dream I had earlier came to mind.

nIn retrospect, in the beginning, Alastair and I weren’t close at all.

nAt the time, I didn’t care whether he was brainwashed or tortured by my family.

nYeah, that’s what I had thought back then:

nIt’s none of my business.

nPoor boy.

nThat was all.

nHowever, it didn’t take long for those thoughts to change.

nMy daily life had changed since he was brainwashed and loved me.

n* * *

nt1v: flashback

nSerina.

nMy hand that was pulling a book out from the shelf trembled at the voice calling for me.

nI looked back nervously.

nBehind me, as if it were natural, was Alastair.

nI dreaded this terribly.

n“I’ve been looking for you for a while.”

nHe laughed brightly as if he was happy to find me.

nConversely, my face was wrinkled without mercy.

nHe came a step closer to me.

nI shuddered and took a step back and said urgently:

n“Stay there.”

nI was terrified of him approaching me.

nIf he came near me, I would choke as if the air was polluted.

nWhen he tried to reach me, I became nauseous with disgust, like bugs were crawling all over me.

n“Turn your head. Your eyes… are very upsetting.”

nI hated the way those eyes looked at me.

nThose purple eyes were as beautiful as jewels, but they were lifeless.

nHe looks at me lovingly, but his eyes are empty.

nIt was as if maggots ate up all the contents and left his eyes void.

n“Don’t approach me. Act the way you use to. You hate me.”

n“……How can I hate you.”

nHis speech was stilted and awkward, as if he was a child struggling to read for the first time. His forced expression made him turn white and pale.

nHe looked like a puppet being controlled.

nI read the original and knew that one day this day would come, but this is…

nThis change in attitude was creepier than I had anticipated.

nEven I had to admit that those purple eyes that sometimes express hatred and are sometimes mesmerized by me are captivating.

nHe, who had hated me so much, was now so anxious because he loved me and couldn’t close the distance between us.

nI left him behind and quickly exited the study.

nAs I walked through the hallway, I saw a familiar face.

nIt was my mother’s maid, Marina.

nShe greeted me with courtesy.

nI ignored her and continued walking.

n“Miss, have you ever seen the young master?”

nMarina’s question came from behind me.

nI knew immediately which young master she was talking about. It must be Alastair.

n“The Duke is looking for the young master, but I can’t find him.”

nMy fast-paced feet stopped in the middle of the corridor.

nI didn’t know why my mother was calling him. It’s probably about brainwashing.

n“How would I know?”

nI won’t tell you, but you’ll find him soon anyway.

nThat was just the way things were.

n***

nt1v: another scene, still in flashback

nAfter washing up in the bathroom, I turned to the mirror.

nMy reflection illustrated a girl with her wet silver hair hanging down and her skin red from roughly rubbing her wet skin.

nThe room was tinted orange by the light of a burning candle.

nThe sky was dark outside the window through the gap in the curtain.

nIt was still hot after washing, so I opened the beige curtains and unlocked the window, and a cool breeze came in.

nI was in a good mood, but the candle flickered as if it was going to go out, and I wondered if I should close the window.

nKnock knock.

nThe sound made me leave the window and approach the door.

n“Who is it?”

nI opened the door without even checking out who the knocker was.

nAnd I immediately regretted it.

nI looked at the figure standing at the door and tried to close it.

nBut Alastair urgently pushed the door in the opposite direction.

nThanks to this, the door could not be opened or closed—we were in a standstill.

n“What are you doing?”

n“Let me in Seri·······.”

n“I never allowed you to use my nickname, and it’s rude to come here so late at night. Go back.”

n“······I am sick.”

n“Then there’s even more reason you shouldn’t be here. If you are sick, you should go see a doctor.”

nI tried to close the door but to no avail.

nRather, the gap between the door and the wall widened.

nDamn it. He was stronger than me.

n“What are you doing…?!”

nHe opened the door, walked in, and hugged me.

n“……I missed you, Serina.”

nHe buried his face deep in the nape of my neck and caressed my face as if to find a sense of stability and reality.

nThe stroking sensation gave me goosebumps.

n“Get away……!”

nI pushed him as if I was hitting him.

nThen his body shook back and collapsed limply.

nOnly then could I see his condition.

nHis black hair was soaked with sweat, and his eyes were hazy and half-closed and heavy-lidded.

nI suddenly recalled Marina looking for Alastair earlier.

nHe was on his way back from being brainwashed.

n“Get out.”

nI grabbed the doorknob and opened the door wide.

nHe grabbed my skirt.

n“I love you, Serina.”

nIt was a startling confession.

nMy body was cold.

nI’m used to him attacking and hating me all the time.

nI’m horrified.

nHe confessed love to me with such lifeless eyes.

nIt was more terrible than a ghost murmuring in your ear.

n“If you’re going to throw me away, I’d rather you kill me.”

nHis hand holding my skirt went up and grabbed my hand.

nReflexively, I tried to shake him off, but his grip was firm.

n“……Let me go.”

n“I love you. I love you, Serina.”

nHe didn’t seem to hear me.

nSeeing you keep spitting out the words that linger in your head. It was as if I could see an infection spreading.

nI hated this.

nIt was terrible.

nIt was creepy.

nPurple eyes gleamed as if possessed.

nI’ve seen eyes like this before.

nIt was the eyes—not those who have deep faith, but it was the eyes of the crazy religious.

n“Let me go!”

n“You know what? Seri, you’re lovely even when you’re angry.”

nHe smiled.

nSoon he burst into laughter.

nHow can you laugh at this situation?

nI’m openly saying I don’t like it and expressing fear.

n‘You’re crazy…’

nHis lips open as if he was trying to say something, drawing a line.

nI knew what he was about to say and didn’t want to hear it, so I covered my ear with one hand that wasn’t caught by him.

nOne ear was still open, so I could still hear him.

n“I love you.”

nAt that moment, the wind blew through the open window.

nThe candle that had filled the room with a flickering orange light suddenly went out.

nA strong rejection arose inside my body as if it was a taboo phrase.

n“Let go!”

nI don’t know where the strength came from, but a burst of energy threw his arm off of me.

nI ran out the open door, scared that he might come after me.

nA dark hallway greeted me, and I ran until I was out of breath.

nMoonlight drenched through the windows.

nStepping on that light, I walked down the stairs.

nI gathered my wits about me.

nWhy did I run away?

nIt’s my room.

nPuzzled by my actions, I turned to go back to my room.

n“Thud.”

nAlastair was behind me.

nHe came after me. Even though I clearly rejected him and showed my repulsion.

nMy whole body became stiff and icy.

n“Why are you avoiding me?”

nHe asked, his head tilting. As if he genuinely didn’t understand.

nHe was extremely expressionless, like a creepy haunted doll.

nHe reached out to me.

nI avoided his hand and retreated back.

nI glanced back and spotted the staircase.

nWhen I turned my head again, his hand was close to my nose between my glances.

nThe accident happened in an instant.

n“Arghh!”

nAlastair rolled down the stairs, and I looked into my hand with shaking eyes.

nSeeing him approaching, by mistake…

nI had pushed him.

nI forced my legs to go down each step on the staircase,

n“… hey.”

nThere was no answer back.

n“······Wake up.”

nIt was dark so that I couldn’t see well, but there was something darker and more intense on the stairs.

nAfter looking at it for a while, I figured out what it was.

n“Blood·······?”

nI felt I saw something I should not have seen.

n“Are you dead…?”

nI…… I didn’t mean to do this. I just didn’t want you to come near me…

n

n

nMy legs were weak.

nThere was no more strength to sustain my weight.

nA lot of blood came on my collapsed leg.

nAt that moment, I couldn’t stand it and screamed.

nThe attendants rushed out, and even when they saw the sight, they moved calmly.

nI was barely able to calm down after a little coaxing.

nThat night, I couldn’t sleep for a second.

nI hated you, but I didn’t want you to die.

nDon’t die.

nWhen I think about it now, I was young and tender.

n