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nI stood outside the door and listened in to the conversation between my dad and Auntie Ren. Not long after, I could feel someone walking quickly towards the door.

nI quickly retreated and pretended like I had just arrived. As expected, the door opened and Auntie Ren walked out angrily with my dad following from behind.

n“Hong Li, don’t panic. You might not have lost it in the hotel…”

nAuntie Ren was furious: “Who allowed you to call me by my name? Do you want to die?”

nAlthough I was wearing sunglasses, my dad still recognized me instantly.

nHe pointed towards my direction, “Not in front of the child…”

nHe was extremely quiet so Auntie Ren could only hear the word ‘child’.

n“What?” Auntie Ren’s expression changed, “It wasn’t enough that you got it easy but now you want a kid? I already took a lot of the Plan B the next day so there’s no way I would have your kid.”

nAs I got closer, Auntie Ren realized she let her tongue slip. She stared at my dad and me before walking down the hallway. I’m assuming she went to look for the manager to ask about the necklace.

nMy dad and I looked at each other with a bitter smile as I walked in.

n“Dad, did you really not hide Auntie Ren’s necklace?”

n“Of course.” he spread open his hands, “It’s not like I’m the cowherd from the cowherd and the weaving girl.”

n“That might not be the case.” I mumbled, “The cowherd was a lumpenproletariat, and you’re an AV reviewer…”

nWell, jokes aside, I’m here to do business.

nI offered the beef jerky and tea leaves to my dad with a smile. My dad was suspicious before I even brought out the essay:

n“You did something bad, didn’t you?”

n“No, no.” I said while passing him my essay, “I may have told a few lies but I hope you won’t mind.”

nMy dad glanced through it and said:

n“I do indeed have some classmates who took part in Shenzhou 10’s design, but it has nothing to do with me!”

n“Also, you said America sent a female spy to seduce me, so where is she?”

nWait, that’s the line you’re unsatisfied with? Then you can temporarily consider Auntie Ren as a spy.

n“You even said I have a general rank, and threatened your teacher you would do the same thing as Li Tian if you don’t get a good grade…”

n“Li Tian had a lawyer, but I can’t afford one for you. And I’ll be the first one to break your legs.”

n“Even though I could kind of be considered a general…”

nWait… what did you say? When were you able to become a general without me noticing and why didn’t you tell me sooner? If you’re a general, then you must have the authority to get an armored vehicle. Lately, my harem doesn’t look like it’s going well, so hurry up and lend me one so I can hide from the class leader and Xiao Qin.

nI grabbed my dad’s collar and asked for one, but he changed his words:

n“It’s not a real general. It’s because I purposely complemented North Korea in a recent AV review, so the HHH club president was happy and gave me a general title…”

n“Of course, the president didn’t speak with me directly, it seems his Mandarin isn’t that great. It was actually a representative called General Cui who told me, but his Mandarin is pretty strange too…”

n“Besides, Director Cao was also given a rank of general by the president. I’m assuming it’s some sort of inside rank for the club.”

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nWhat’s the point of calling yourself a general if you don’t have an armored vehicle?

nI felt regret that he couldn’t move an army, but he still easily signed my essay while complaining:

n“Next time don’t lie, also this jerky is a bit too hard…”

nNo problem. The next time I lie, I’ll bribe you with softer jerky.

nI slept at my dad’s room that night since he had two beds anyway.

nWe chatted late into the night. Other than making fun of my sunglasses, my dad asked about Auntie Ren’s interests.

nIs he really planning on chasing Auntie Ren? Is he determined to make Xiao Qin my sister?

n“Dad, did… you let go?”

nI didn’t have to state it explicitly, but I was obviously referring to how my dad still didn’t let go of the relationship with Ai ShuQiao.

nThe hesitation in my dad’s eyes made my heart sank, but he still said energetically:

n“Maybe… it’s time to let go…”

nNope, it seems he still hasn’t let go. Ai ShuQiao’s poison still hasn’t fully left his body. Back when I was watching animals on the Discovery channel, I thought platypi were the only mammals with poison, but I was hugely mistaken. It turns out all women on earth has poison, and the prettier they are the deadlier the poison.

nBut compared to Ai ShuQiao, Auntie Ren’s poison is more gentle. I guess you have to fight fire with fire. Compared to letting my dad falling into a deeper abyss of sadness, it’s better to help him get Auntie Ren.

nWhat a difficult task. Even if it succeeds, I can’t tell if it will be a blessing or a curse.

nBut I’m really looking forward to the expression on Xiao Qin’s face when she becomes my stepsister.

nI’ve already been with Xiao Qin for so long that I would be a bit worried if she’s not near me, so might as well make her my sister.

nI had a wonderful dream that night. In the dream, I was on a picnic with Xiao Qin after she became my sister and we bumped into the class leader.

nThe class leader called me over under a tree and told me she had something to tell me with a worried expression.

nWhat’s there to be worried about? If you like me just say it outright. Since you’re advocate of being frugal, we can just skip the wedding and head straight to bed…

nThe class leader’s words shattered my dreams: “Actually… I’m also your little sister…”

nDamn, it woke me right up. A beautiful dream turned into a nightmare.

nAlso, the class leader’s older than me by one day. Even if it was a contrived situation where she became my sister, she would technically be my older sister.

nThe next day I did a bit of homework because of what the class leader told me on Friday.

nI’ll do my homework properly, but please don’t be blood related, that’s my only request.

nI suddenly realized that the class leader’s poison had unknowingly seeped into my body.

nWill the Justice Devil also use poison like other woman? It doesn’t really match her nickname.

nI shook those thoughts out of my head. I parted ways with my dad after lunch since he still has work to do.

nHe already wasted a lot of time with the quarantine and the stuff that happened with Auntie Ren. It’s a good thing Uncle He is reasonable and didn’t pressure him with a deadline.

nDon’t betray Uncle He’s hopes for you. Use the time you would spend reviewing AVs to do your work properly. I mean it’s useless to befriend your club’s president to receive an empty title.

nI gave Xiao Qin a call since I was bored on my way home.

n“Ye Lin classmate?”

nI could hear the sound of water form the other side.

n“I’m currently washing my hair, so I can’t open my eyes…”

nDon’t pick up the phone if you’re washing your hair. And you also picked up so fast, do you even carry your phone with you into the washroom?

n“If you’re washing your hair, then I can call back later…”

n“No… it’s okay. The washroom is filled with steam, so it’s not cold. What did you want to talk about?”

nWhy would she say she’s cold in this weather? Is she…. taking a bath? Did she pick up the phone in the nude?

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n“Ye Lin classmate, I can take pictures with my phone~”

n“I know. It can only take pictures other than looking good, it can’t even go on the web. Why did you bring it up?”

n“(*^__^*) Hehe… if you want, I can take a picture of myself right now and text it to you~?”

nWho wants to see you covered in bubbles with your eyes closed? If your eyes aren’t open, then the picture probably wouldn’t be clear. And if you can’t see properly you might not even send the picture to the right person. God forbid, what would happen if you accidentally sent the photo to the class leader or Auntie Ren?

nAfter declining Xiao Qin, I asked:

n“Xiao Qin, do you know what Auntie Ren usually likes?”

n“Huh?” Xiao Qin was baffled but then couldn’t hold back her laughter.

n“Ye Lin classmate… are you trying to curry favor with your mother-in-law? I never expected you would be so traditional…”

n“… you don’t have to worry about it. Even if my mom disagrees, I would still force her to let me get married to you.”

nStop dreaming, I’m trying to curry favor with my stepmother, not my mother-in-law.

nI wasn’t able to get information on what Auntie Ren likes, but she did tell me: Auntie Ren hates being controlled, hates despicable behavior, and hates unfaithful men…

nMy dad isn’t the type who would lock their wife at home after getting married. I think one his special trait is to become a henpecked male regardless of who he marries.

nDespicable behavior doesn’t apply since he can even sell adult goods honestly and righteously.

nAs for unfaithfulness, he would never be unfaithful. When I was 7 or 8, there would always be a young woman with glasses and braids (I found out later she was my dad’s student) who would always come to my house to ask my dad life questions. She would even give me candy to raise my affection level. Now that I think about it, she probably wanted to be in a teacher-student relationship with my dad. My dad was worried about wasting her time, so he purposefully acted rude towards her. He was finally able to send her crying and she never come back again.

nBut my womanizer plan would incite Auntie Ren’s rage. It seems I still need an armored car to protect against the class leader’s gun, Xiao Qin’s machete, and finally Auntie Ren’s flying kick.

nA clear crisp sound of a slap on water brought me back to my senses.

n“Hehe, Ye Lin classmate, can you guess where I slapped to make that sound?”

nStop making me listen to weird slapping sounds, just tell me what Auntie Ren likes.

n“If you have to know what my mom likes, then that would be me…”

n“What?”

n“Mothers like their daughters best. So as long as you treat me well, my mom will like you…”

nI’m not doing this to chase after you, it’s so my dad can chase your mom! Or are you telling me my dad should take you to an amusement park to get on your mom’s good side?

nIn the end, I wasn’t able to find what Auntie Ren likes (other than Xiao Qin). But it seemed Auntie Ren was anxious over losing the necklace passed down from her mother.

nAt this time, the taxi had reached my neighborhood. I told Xiao Qin to finish her shower and hung up.

n“Ah, how did you know I was taking a shower?” Xiao Qin feigned surprise, “Now you know I was chatting with you while naked… how embarrassing.”

nMy ass! You were the one who said you were going to take a picture and even slapped weird places to purposely make me hear it. Wait until I become your brother, then I’ll teach you a lesson.

nAt night while I was managing the store, Uncle Fireball complained about why the kiss balloons have not yet come out. Right when I was answering a female customer’s questions about energy consumption of vibrators, my phone rang.

nIt was from Xiong YaoYue, but under her intense demand, I changed her contact name to Winnie.

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