“Xiao Qin, you’ve said more than once that you wanted to go to a fairy tale world with me. Were you serious?”

I typed these words on my phone with trembling fingers as I was shrouded by the shadow of death.

“You said that in the fairy tale world, you would be the kitty and I would be a big dinosaur. You also wished I could carry you on my back and take you around the world.”

The corners of my mouth lifted into a bitter smile as I imagined the cat version of Xiao Qin rolling around on my back.

“Instead, I think you’re more like a saber-toothed tiger. I’m just an iron-blooded lone wolf with even less combat power than you.”

“So, don’t come yet, okay?”

“I was sad when you took Brother Optimus Prime away from me; I was also sad when the puppy I raised got sick and died. My dad once said something like: people aren’t afraid of death, people are afraid of separation.”

“I beg you, please bear the pain of separation from me for a while. Don’t let your parents also taste the pain of separation.”

Then I wrote down her father, Huo ZhenBang, had AIDS.

Huo ZhenBang might be a womanizer, but I could tell he loves his children. Now that he has lost his eldest son and is terminally ill, if even the “second lady”, Xiao Qin, goes with me, then he wouldn’t be able to endure the blow.

I can’t even imagine how Auntie Ren would feel if she lost Xiao Qin.

“Xiao Qin, I know what I’m asking of you may be difficult. When you think about it, all the good, bad, wrong, and stupid things you’ve done from the very beginning to now have been because of a hopeless desire to stay by my side.”

“I don’t really think there’s anything good about me to make you do to such an extent, but in any case, the fact that I don’t exist in this world will probably hurt you.”

“Please try to believe that I am waiting for you in the fairy tale world.”

“I want you to live on. I have patience, so I can wait for you for a long time.”

“There are many people you have to live on for. For Auntie Ren, for your terminally ill father, you shouldn’t give up your life when you’re so young either.”

“Help me take care of Brother Optimus Prime and my other robot brothers, okay? Although I’m already 14 years old, I still like robot toys very much.”

“Now, I shouldn’t hide it from you anymore. Actually, Auntie Ren is already pregnant with my dad’s child. My dad has proposed to her, although it was rejected…”

“But I still think they have a chance to be together. If our parents get together, then you and I would become brother and sister. Now you should know why I wanted you to call me brother that time on the cliff.”

“Maybe it’s asking for too much, maybe it’s too cruel, but I hope you can be nice to my dad. Be nice to your former Uncle Ye. He at least gave you photos of me in my shoujo days, didn’t he.”

I couldn’t help but feel sad when I thought about how Xiao Qin keeps a photo of me on her desk, but the twenty or so photos she gave me of herself were all sealed in a cardboard box and thrown under my bed.

How selfish of me to ask a broken-hearted Xiao Qin to help comfort my dad.

But I continued to write on.

“If our younger brother or sister gets born soon, then you will have to take the responsibility of being the older sister. But don’t be like the class leader and how she spoils Shu Zhe.”

“Also, if it’s a younger brother, then it’s possible he would be named Ye Lin. Don’t bully him, because it is very important, I repeat: do not bully him.”

“As for Ai Mi, I already know she doesn’t like you, and you might not like her either, but I still want to shamelessly ask you to please watch her if she goes astray. If she becomes homeless because she rebelled against Ai ShuQiao, please at least give her a place to stay.”

“In terms of helping Ai Mi, you can 100% trust the black bodyguard, Peng TouSi. Although he’s gay, he is the one closest to god out of everyone I’ve met. I believe that if it was you and Auntie Ren who were in trouble, Peng TouSi will also help for the sake of Ai Mi and me.”

I can now understand what it means for the living to suffer more than the dead.

I can’t believe I gave Xiao Qin so many tasks. Am I even worthy to be a brother and a childhood friend?

But I have to find a lot of things for her to do, or she will go crazy wallowing in the grief of losing me.

Even with all that I’ve said, I still had no confidence that I could stop Xiao Qin from ending her life once she was sure of my death.

My heart rate sped up again and I almost dropped my phone. The impending death gradually made my message to Xiao Qin become more nonsensical.

“Don’t look down on the fairy tale world. You’ve never been to the fairy tale world, maybe the fairy tale world is also very dangerous.”

“And I’m just a lone wolf, not an invincible dinosaur in the fairy tale world. I don’t think you want the two of us to be chased around by dinosaurs once we get to the fairy tale world, right?”

“So don’t come over yet, stay on the other side. Let me fight some monsters and level up in the fairy tale world first.”

“It’s not too late for you to come over once I upgrade into the Arctic Wolf King and gain the ability to protect you.”

“Wait a bit more, give that time to your parents and our younger brothers and sisters. I know you may be very sad if you can’t find me, but please wait a little longer, don’t come over immediately, okay?”

“I haven’t disappeared into thin air, I’ll be waiting for you in the fairy tale world. Just like how my Brother Optimus Prime did not disappear, he has been waiting for me at your place.”

“I will farm monsters and level up, so I won’t be bored. We have not separated, as long as we’re still in each others hearts, then it’s not a real separation.”

“Although I know it’s difficult, but please live the rest of your life happily, then come to the fairy tale world to find me.”

“You will definitely find me. I will stand in a very conspicuous place and the Arctic wolf king whose level is 999, that’s me.”

“Regardless if you come in the form of a kitten or a saber-toothed tiger, I will protect you and take you around the world with me.”

“From then on, you can always stay by my side…”

I couldn’t write anymore.

It’s not because the Grim Reaper had swung down his scythe, but because I couldn’t control my emotions anymore.

I couldn’t believe that I was actually sobbing at a phone screen.

So, those dead people and animals haven’t really separated from us.

My grandfather, who used to hand me sweet potatoes while cursing at the men’s soccer game on the TV, along with the only dog I ever had. Did they give me a part of their soul when they left this world?

My dad once said: the people you love will continue to live on inside you, even if you’re separated by life and death.

From this perspective, Xiao Qin and I, have not actually been separated for three years.

But we may be separated for a long time now.

I am a philosophical materialist through and through, so heaven and hell have no place in my belief system.

So I should not believe in a childish “fairy tale world”.

However, at this moment, I really hope that the super unscientific fairy tale world will exist for me and Xiao Qin.

At least we would have a place to meet again.

I pressed the save button on my phone’s notepad, then my eyelids grew heavy and I gradually wanted to go to sleep.

In a trance, I had transformed into a wolf and arrived at a fairy tale world with red flowers and green grass,. The cartoon sun illuminated the lands on top of the skies.

Some bald-haired roosters with big eyes and thin necks were lazily walking around in the wilderness, with yellow monster names and levels displayed over their heads: Da Fei Ji – LV1.

A clear and fresh breeze blew past. I shook the mane on my neck and bared my sharp canine teeth.

It seems to be a very weak monster, let’s start grinding levels from them.

“Cluck.” Every time I cast a claw strike on them, they let out a high-pitched sound, but it didn’t change their fate of being killed by me in three hits.

“One gives 20 experience points, it takes 10,000 experience points to rise from level one to level two. This setting is super dumb, when will I be able to get to level 999?”

I impatiently muttered to myself as I launched a wild charge at the 34th Da Fei Ji.

“Woof woof.” This Da Fei Ji suddenly let out a dog’s bark.

I couldn’t help but stop my front paws in mid-air and take a closer look at the yellow letters above its head. Da Fei Ji – LV1, it wasn’t any different than the other ones. It was neither an elite monster nor a quest monster, so why does it know a foreign language?

“Woof, woof, woof woof woof.”

After I killed the Da Fei Ji, the dog’s barking did not stop, but became louder.

There were also running sounds along with the dog’s barks. The footsteps sounds from a somewhat familiar person, running over the grass with sneakers.

That person was panting and running, while screaming: “Ye Lin classmate, Ye Lin classmate, where are you?”

I don’t know how long she’s been shouting, but her usual mellow and nice voice had become weak and hoarse, making me worried her vocal cords are going to break.

It was like a drop of warm tears splashing over my face. It made the monster fight scene blurry again.

Hey, it sounds a little familiar, as if I had heard it before in the last world I lived in.

“Woof, woof woof, woof woof woof.” The dog suddenly stopped and it seems the barks were coming from right above me.

Hey, the dog also sounds familiar. The accent sounds like a perfect American accent!

My eyes snapped open.

Could it be Obama? Did Xiao Qin bring Obama to find me by my scent?

With the sweat-stained t-shirt that I gave to Xiao Qin as a hug pillow?

I could not suppress my inner joy and tilted my head up, then I saw Obama’s shimmering eyes and his scarlet tongue sticking out of his mouth.

I have never been so fond of huskies.

The death note on my phone seems to have been written in vain.