Dear Diary,

It’s been three hours since I entered the seas of dicks. It’s dicks… everywhere, as far as the eye can see. I thought I had come to a Utopia… a school of learning where men can truly be men. Instead, it is only the dicks.

It smells of leather and baby oil, and I can’t take a single step without ending up in something inexcusable. The people here are aggressive and don’t take no for an answer. I’ve had to pull my knife out and pull a Shao before I was allowed to move after a few scary situations.

Although the floor above was quite small, that didn’t appear to be true for this floor. It was wide and open, without hallways, but that only meant I could see everything. I just wish… I could unsee it. Loud club music thrums across the entire floor.

I didn’t see how this place would be a temptation for women. Rather, I would think it’d be a temptation for a certain kind of man. Perhaps the girls above were playing a trick on me. I thought about turning back many times and playing up there, as a means of bleaching my eyeballs of the things I’ve seen. However, I had to continue. I couldn’t allow my girls to have to deal with this. I had a mission to complete.

“Hey, wanna watch me jackoff?”

“Dick pic? Anyone want a dick pic?”

“Hey, kid… look at these!” A man in a trench coat flashed me.

“Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!” I couldn’t take it anymore!

I pulled out a sword and attacked. Had I not been underground, I seriously would have used Meteor. It probably wouldn’t work this deep underground, but I wanted to do it just on principle. Maybe with a well-placed Portal… No… I was just being crazy.

This… this wasn’t crazy at all!

“Ahhhh!”

“He’s got a sword!”

“Hehe… so do I!”

“There is blood everywhere!”

“That’s what she said!’

For the next two hours, I carved a path through naked flesh and blood, forming a path of destruction from which there was no return. Naked creatures fell all around me. Multi-penis tentacle monsters were burned to a crisp. The entire floor smelled like baby oil… and death!

It was to the point that when I came to the safe room door, breathing hard and covered from head to toe in various fluids, it took a while for me to realize it. I had feared the door would be closed, since it led down to the boss room, and the king had already entered that room. Did that mean he was truly dead?

Perhaps I would have dwelled on those thoughts more, but I just couldn’t. I shoved my way into the room and then slammed the door. Then fell to the ground and curled up in the fetal position, weeping for some time.

{True Hero had increased to level 26.}

{You have unlocked the skill: Condition Swap.}