The sense of rejection I felt from Conrad only spurred me on, igniting a curiosity within me. Was I truly that undesirable? Could a man hold me in his arms without feeling any stirrings of passion, maintaining his composure throughout?,

"Ernest,

" I whispered, my hand finding its way to his back, pulling him closer through the fabric of his shirt, my nails digging into him slightly., I could feel Ernest tense up even more, so much so that he inhaled sharply.

"Licia...

", I pressed closer to him, my body soft and pliable in just my nightgown, fully aware of my own softness., If Ernest could resist this, then it was a clear sign of my own failure.,

"Licia,

" Ernest called out to me in a rushed breath, then he let go, placing his hands on my shoulders and looking down, his breathing heavy., His Adam's apple bobbed, his body trembling... It was as if he had just sprinted a mile., And I wasn't faring much better. Having taken this step, I was a mix of embarrassment and boldness.,

"Licia, it's getting late,

" Ernest said, releasing me and stepping away., I felt a chill through my body, a mix of embarrassment and a profound sense of failure heating my brain.

"Ernest, you're leaving now? Are you not able, or just not interested in me?

", Ernest paused, one foot out the door, then after a moment, he turned around., I couldn't see my own expression, but I could feel it-eyes probably red, face pale, a mixture of hurt and frustration., Ernest looked at me, his deep eyes swirling with emotion, then he stepped back, closing the door behind him with his foot. In the next second, the room dimmed, my head was pulled back gently, and I felt the heat of his lips on mine..., He gave me a fierce kiss, his hand controlling my slight frame as if he could crush me..., I felt an intensity I'd never known before, tasting the madness of love between a man and a woman.,

"Licia, is this okay?

" Ernest's voice, low and trembling, reached my ears., And with that, I questioned myself, Is this okay?, I remembered my parents, before they passed, when I was just twelve and beginning to blossom. My mother had shared some wisdom about the birds and the bees, and about how girls should interact with boys., She had said that a girl should not let a man touch her lightly, unless she was ready to commit her whole life to him. And before making that decision, she had said to consider if he was truly worth that commitment., Was I ready to commit to Ernest now?, Even though I had acknowledged our relationship tonight, a lifetime..., That was too long, too uncertain., Suddenly, I wasn't sure anymore., My moment of hesitation allowed Ernest to regain his composure, his cheek brushing lightly against my hair.

"Let's wait a bit longer.

", I couldn't speak, my mind a tumult of emotions.,

"But just so you know, it's not that I can't, or that I'm not interested in you. I just want to wait until you're sure,

" Ernest's voice was low and husky. Hearing this, my eyes unexpectedly filled with tears., It was an indescribable feeling-touched, moved, yet also embarrassed and regretful., What was I doing? To test Ernest's feelings for me in such a way?, Conrad had never made such moves, was it because he didn't love me enough? But why should I test Ernest like this?, In that moment, I realized how foolish and naive I had been., Ernest was a man of responsibility and integrity. If he had been a frivolous playboy, taking advantage of the situation and of me, I would have been the one to lose., At that moment, I was grateful for his restraint and regretted my impulsiveness., I pushed him away and ran towards the bedroom as if fleeing., Ernest's soft laughter followed me,

"I'll head back now. Don't forget to have your chicken soup.

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