n

n

n

"What's so funny? Are you okay?

"

nOh, dear. He is so on edge it's making me laugh even more.

nI struggled to stop my outburst by biting my lip, smiling wide at him.

n

"You. You look funny.

"

nNathan's brows furrowed.

n

"Me?

"

nLook at him, he looked so confused. Fufufu~

n

"Yeah, fufufu

"

nHe pursed his lips, staring at me gloomily. He then turned to the doctor with troubled eyes.

n

"Doctor, is my sister really okay? Are there any issues with her psyche?

"

nI stopped giggling at that point.

nHey! What does he mean by that? My brother is not thinking that I've lost my marbles, isn't he?

nDoctor Haudie ignored our banter and proceeded to ask his routine questions.

n

"Do you still feel cold?

"

nBeing reminded, my body suddenly shook after a wave of chill snaked up my spine and my teeth chattered in response. Noticing my reaction, Doctor Haudie confirmed it and frowned.

n

"You have no diseases or ailments but your body is cold. This is probably related to the incident four years ago.

"

nFour years ago...

nOh, right. I remember it now. I was in a temporary coma right after the hunt. They told me that my body was so cold no one could touch me. And now, it seems like it's happening again.

nHe wearily removed his monocle and fixed the instruments he used back to his bag.

n

"I need to go to the library to research your condition. Perhaps, the imperial doctor also knows about it too. Or maybe we could ask a priest?

"

nNathaniel heard this and jumped in.

n

"I will send a request to the arcane tower. Dad could probably set you an appointment with the imperial doctors.

"

nDoctor Haudie nodded, looking relieved now.

n

"Thank you, young master.

"

nIt was at that moment that I zoned out because my head started buzzing. This too. Same with my restless days feeling cold, my migraine is getting more constant now. I have probably drunk more medicine for migraines these days than I had before. And I probably drank more medicine than I did with tea.

nIt sucks. Because it feels like I'm really ill, you know. When I'm not. Or maybe I am but my illness is such a bitch it doesn't even want to let itself be known.

nSo even though I want to enjoy my time being holed up in my room trying to stay warm and sane by doing interesting things, I would only get distracted by sudden dizziness. Goodness! I'm starting to get confused as to what is real and what is not!

nSometimes, I would open my eyes after an afternoon nap and see a jungle. No, I'm not kidding. The plants in my room grew so much that it looked like I'm inside a greenhouse. I would stare stupidly at my surroundings, wondering if I'm dreaming or not, and then get drowsy because of medication and fall asleep again. When I wake up, everything is normal.

nMy plants are fine and there is certainly no jungle in my room. So I would laugh at myself believing that I'm slowly losing my **.

nEven when I'm sleeping, I'm still not at peace. Every time I close my eyes, I'm bombarded by dreams. The dreams were sometimes blurry and confusing, but there are instances that they were so vivid they made me think that they were probably memories. But when I woke up, I would vaguely remember them anymore.

n-----**

nI opened my eyes and the first thing that I noticed was the ceiling. It was white and plain, so unlike the ceiling that I'm used to seeing. Also, instead of a chandelier, there is only one light bulb.

nThat's when it came to me. Ah, this is a dream. I'm dreaming of the same place again, my room back in the modern world. During these dreams, I would only be a bystander inside my body. I couldn't move and could only watch the whole thing transpire.

nThe me in the dream blinked and suddenly sat up on the bed. This move brought sudden dizziness which I also felt. Geez… Why would you ever do that, me?

nI stared at my surroundings for a long time, confused and a little apprehensive. I wasn't sure why I was being that way but after a while, the me in the dream calmed down. I stood up and faced the mirror again, gazing at my reflection for a considerable amount of time.

nSeeing my face in the mirror, I suddenly felt weird. It's so strange. It's like seeing an apparition. Instead of feeling relieved because I'm back to my real body, I feel rather alienated.

nMan, am I that attached to Nadia's body and identity now?

nFor some reason, the me in the dream felt the same way. She touched her face in a trance as if she's fascinated. What's so fascinating about my face, huh? It's so plain I could blend in the crowd easily.

nThe scene changed. I was now surrounded by countless picture books. The one in my hand was about astronomy and it seemed like I was so mesmerized by what I'm seeing. Flipping the pages in succession, staring at the pictures with excited eyes.

nI don't remember this at all but I let the whole dream play out. I mean, I can't do anything about it anyway.

nAnother change of scenery, this time, I was on top of a building. I recognized it as the rooftop of the apartment we lived in. I was staring at the evening sky, watching the stars twinkle.

nThe scene changed again and I was staring outside the glass wall of a shopping mall. I would marvel at the dresses displayed neatly on mannequins, sometimes stopping when I see something that would catch my eye for a brief moment of scrutiny. But the longest I had stopped was in front of the tv display. A movie was being played and I watched it with utmost curiosity.

nSeriously, this version of me in my dream looked like a curious child rather than her real age. In the first place, am I even this person? Is this one of my memories?

n