n

n

n~ SASHA ~

nIt was alive in her head. All of it. She could feel the tension in Zev's chest, smell the stale cigarette smoke that still clung to Nick's jacket even though he wasn't a smoker. She could feel the fizzing tension in the older man.

nAnd she could feel the ache in Zev whenever her face popped into his mind.

nWhile he negotiated with the man who felt like the closest thing he had to a father, she could feel his nerves—and his hope, because he'd spoken her name and Nick hadn't shut it down. After two years… he imagined seeing her, watching her smile, making sure she was safe… and how even that little bit felt like it filled a hole in his chest.

nThen she felt the bottom fall out of his stomach when he asked himself if she'd found anyone else yet.

nAnd as she watched through Zev's memory, through his heart, she saw the wary glint in the other man's eyes.

nShe saw the flash of triumph when Zev agreed to train for the covert work in the city. And she felt Zev discard the niggling worry that he was being manipulated, because the thrill he felt when he thought of seeing her was so overwhelming, nothing else mattered.

nStanding there in that little dirt hole, Sasha wanted to fold into a ball and weep for what they'd both lost. She wanted to slap him in the face and ask how he could have been so easily fooled—and she wanted to throw her arms around his neck and kiss him silly for being willing to make himself so miserable just to keep her safe—and his people, too.

nThey'd used his soft heart and generous nature against him. She could see it. It was something they'd argued about a few times when they were young. She'd watched him to be kind to girls that were only trying to get him away from her—but he didn't even realize. Because they didn't flirt. They cried. They didn't act angry or jealous of her, but like she was a friend.

nThey didn't touch him, they just yearned with their eyes.

nShe'd known from the very first day that he was far too trusting of their motives, but he'd been hurt when she tried to tell him that they were fooling him.

nAnd now she'd just watched the men in his life do the same thing.

nShe'd been so hurt for so long, and had so many people telling her all the ways he'd fooled her, she'd stopped believing in his heart. His heart that she knew—that she understood.

nNo matter how strong he might be, Zev was a lover. He was her lover. Of course he would have taken steps to protect her if he was certain her life was in danger. And she knew it had been. Probably still was. Those images in his mind… she'd felt them. They were real. Things he'd known and seen and… things that had changed him.

nWhen that man, Nick, told him about those other men, the conviction in Zev's heart was real, and unwavering.

nThe man wasn't lying.

nOf course he would have left if he'd thought that's what was waiting for her if he didn't. Of course he had.

n

"Oh, Zev,

" she sobbed.

"I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry I didn't believe in you.

"

n*****

n~ ZEV ~

nHe blinked back to the present and realized Sasha was weeping. Had he squeezed her too tightly? Let images from his operations bleed through—or worse, the breeding arena?

n

"Shhhhhh, Sash. Please don't cry.

"

nBut as he searched her eyes, shining, her eyelashes fluttering as she tried to blink the tears away, she rasped,

"Oh, Zev. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry I didn't believe in you.

"

nStunned, he gaped at her.

"What do you mean? I was the one who left. I knew what that would do to you. Sash, I just wanted you to see that I really thought I was protecting you—

"

nShe threw herself into his chest. He wrapped her in his arms, dropping his lips to her hair.

n

"Hey, hey, you weren't supposed to cry.

"

n

"I could feel it, Zev,

" she whispered against his slick, black shirt.

"I could feel how much you love me. How hard it was for you… that's what it was like for me too. Except I didn't understand.

" She covered her face and pressed herself into his chest and Zev felt his own eyes pinching at her grief.

"I'm sorry I listened to those people who didn't know you like I did. I'm sorry. I knew—when you first left I knew, I knew something had to have happened. That you'd never leave me unless you'd been forced, or… or…

" She dissolved into sobs and Zev's heart twinged with pain.

n

"Sash, don't cry. Please, baby. I just wanted you to be certain of me.

"

n

"I am,

" she blubbered, pulling out of his chest.

"I still want to kick your ass for leaving without telling me, but… but I get it… And I love you too, Zev. I love you too!

"

nHis mouth fell open. She'd said it hesitantly. She'd talked about her love in the past tense. She'd even talked about hope for the future. But this… this was the kind of love she'd given him for a year and half before he left. It was all of herself. No barriers. She'd surrendered herself to him then, and she did it again now, throwing herself against him, wrapping her arms around his neck and burying her face there, under his chin, begging him to forgive her for not holding on to what she'd known.

nHis throat pinched and he swallowed over and over, his chest expanding with hope and love and… a little bit of fear.

nBecause she really was here. It was his dream come true. And there were so many things in this world that threatened to turn it into a nightmare.

nBut instead of focusing on that, he pulled her in tight and stroked her hair, shushing her and wiping her tears when she looked up at him.

nShe was back. And she was his. Finally.. She was his.

n