Anything That Can Happen, Will Happen

Wu Shun had never been so disgusted at himself before. He wanted to smash his monitor right there and then, in the middle of his livestream

His viewers were in equally low spirits, musing one after another

“Zha Feng is the sadist. How could he create such circumstances – misleading players into such villany!”

“I don’t mind having that double plot twist. Everyone originally thought that Jane Doe Su was the ultimate big boss, but she ended up being the only righteous soul in that wretched world!”

“I’m crying out my eyes here. I thought I knew what sorrow was, but oh how wrong have I been!”

“Even in darkness, there is light. This is alright, I will pay my respects to Jane Doe Su…”

“This was just f*cked up. Now everyone wants to buy the game and do Jane Doe Su justice. Yan Qingmeng is beyond disgusting. She and that Chunyang School are probably birds of a feather with the sadistic king.”

“Pretentious Li Xiye isn’t the most decent of souls either. He knew Jane Doe Su from the beginning, but he still killed her…”

“Don’t be mean to Li Xiye. She had already given up on all hope. This is not some world where masters of martial arts could destroy entire countries by themselves. If it was not for Li Xiye, Jane Doe Su might not even leave a body behind to be buried.”

“Where were those Yan Qingmeng fans? You guys were rallying behind your goddess. I’d like to see your faces now. I bet Zha Feng the old sly’s facial expression would be this ‘Bet you didn’t see this coming.jpg”

“I feel so bad for Missy Jane Doe Su. She is still my beloved wife. You can take that cunning b*tch Yan Qingmeng if you like her…”

“Stop taking on those meaningless sidequests. There’s no point in them. Hurry up and complete the game. Let us see which production staff came out with this dastardly DLC.”

“That’s right. The writing, the characters, they all feel awfully familiar. The tragedy just feels so familiar”

“Don’t be so hasty. Let’s go after Li Xiye and Yan Qingmeng again. There might more to be revealed. Also, isn’t your character still unmarried? Find a girl and marry her! That sidequest is hanging around in your list. My OCD is killing me!”

…

Wu Shun forced himself to calm down. He no longer had any desire of playing this saved game. So what if he was near the end. He complied to his viewers’ requests and went after Li Xiye. At least, he wanted to tell Li Xiye of Jane Doe Su’s past and see his reactions.

When he saw Li Xiye once again, the King of Pretentiousness seemed even more lonelier than before. He used to wear righteous, royal green clothes, but he was now clad in white.

What is it with Swordsmen and white clothing? Anyway, Jane Doe Su was definitely stunning in her white outfit

As beautiful as her “Fairy from the Wonderland” skill was, nothing could top the time when she shed her grey cloak and blindfold. Many had taken her as a blind prodigy, but who could have known that the brightest, stunning pair of eyes had been hidden from their sight, all this while!

Wu Shun solemnly told Li Xiye of his discoveries. However, Li Xiye remained unswayed. That final battle had elevated his swordsmanship, while also slicing off the remnants of his humanity. He looked lonelier than ever.

This Sword God was now doomed to roam the land alone for the rest of time. He had lost his equal, and nothing was more tragedic than that.

If the final battle had not taken place at where it did, he might not be so easily detached

Next, Wu Shun went after Yan Qingmeng. He almost bitterly laughed out when the Chunyang School informed him that Fairy Yan had started cultivating behind closed doors, and he would never be able to see her again. Still, he would always be Chunyang School’s honored guest. They would still come after him whenever they had quests.

Wu Shun had almost figured everything out. From the beginning till the end, he had been played for a fool. The damned game was the player, and he was the game

He had farmed his ass off, maxing out Yan Qingmeng’s favorability. The damned fairy had now gone into seclusion, undoing all of his efforts. She had only given him the brief sensation of first love. Where the heck was the promised sex scene?

Wu Shun was outraged. He almost impulsively rampaged about for another female according to his viewers’ requests, if not for the fact that he had an old flame. There was no question about it, let’s go for Ye Honglian…

Only the heavens would be able to tell why the heck would Yan Qingmeng gatecrash their wedding. Her face was nothing like a fairy, it was dark, resentful, and furious, as if the player had cheated on her.

Ye Honglian went into a fit of laughter and managed to choke out, “Why is Fairy Yan here? What is her to you?”

The game only provided one line She is my Taoist nun friend.

Only one f*cking option!

Wu Shun almost imprinted his keyboard’s buttons on his forehead. He became increasingly aware of Zha Feng the old sly’s evil intentions.

Left without a choice, he selected that silly, stupid line. It was not entirely false. Fairy Yan was still a Taoist nun friend. Perhaps, she had not lied to him. Her views on the Anonymous City may have been as skewed and as misguided as the teachings of her school.

A CG cutscene was triggered, and it spared on expense in making the player character look like the scumbag of the century. Of course, that was the truth. As long as players could score the female characters in the game, they would still want to tease them.

The song “A Taoist Nun Friend of Mine” 1 rang in the background

The streets were thick with the scent of spring that year. We rode our horses together in the dream-like misty rain.

…

You took me in your embrace, under the umbrella you held. Every single word of your promise was so judicious.

A thousand varieties of tender feelings resided in your eyes. I felt the affectionate spring’s breeze, melting away frost and snow.

Later came our reunion at a wedding banquet. A fair lady by your side, while red shadows of flickering candles appeared.

…

I rode past the old bridge of Nan Ping village alone. At the right time, cloudy mists appeared after the mountain rain.

I recalled that tender embrace under the umbrella. A forgotten dream as I lay atop a cable bridge.

I awoke after falling off, having smashed into pieces, vanishing without a trace.

…

The viewers remained unmoved. On the contrary, they started cheering for the song. They used the bullet curtain to mock Yan Qingmeng.

“Yan Qingmeng was destined to be the second wheel. I like it! Just desserts! Oh, but she knows how to be a drama queen, alright.”

In retrospect, Yan Qingmeng, with her maxed out diplomacy was practically the culprit who had misled players into such a lousy ending. She may not have been the main culprit, but she definitely played a major role in it!

Some viewers thought that the singer sounded awfully familiar.

Thus, Wu Shun finally completed the game’s DLC. The credits started rolling. He excused himself – nature was calling. He returned to see his viewers going crazy. Chain messages and bullet curtains threatened the blow up the stream

What’s going on here?

Apparently, “Su Li” had flitted through the credits, almost sneakily. She had been credited as the main art designer of the DLC. Jane Doe Su, Yan Qingmeng, Li Xiye were all designed by her!

Translation note:

1 “A Taoist Nun Friend of Mine” () is a song that was originally sung by Sachi Tainaka. It was covered by ‘Three rough Han and one soft sister group’ () for JX3 Online’s theme song.