Chapter 358 - I'll Tell You Everything
The corners of Ling Zhaowu’s mouth twitched. Yuwen Tong made him sound like some sort of dangerous criminal. He was Zhang’er’s father. Why would he do harm to his own son?
“It’s no good trying to psych me out. I’m not going to…” Ling Zhaowu was just about to reject Yuwen Tong’s request when he suddenly sensed something and twisted his head aside to look out of the window.
Yuwen Tong had risen to his feet. For an instant his face registered astonishment and bemusement, and then he hastened to walk out.
“Brother Zhang? Were–Weren’t you asleep? Why did you come out here?”
The one who had suddenly shown up outside the house was indeed Ling Zhang. He was standing at the edge of the pool of candlelight, silently watching Yuwen Tong stepping out of the house, a mixed expression in his eyes.
A while ago he had awoken to find Yuwen Tong gone. Then he had asked Yao Yi and some others, but they had hemmed and hawed. It hadn’t been until he gave them the third degree that they told him Yuwen Tong left the palace. He had mistakenly believed that Yuwen Tong had fallen for his story, but it had never crossed his mind that Yuwen Tong had actually been suspicious of him for quite some time, that he had just never shown any sign of his suspicions. Yuwen Tong had been anxious but unwilling to force him to tell the truth, and the only thing he had dared to do was sneak out of the palace to ask his father about it late at night.
The reason for all this was merely because Yuwen Tong had perceived the changes of his mood, and because Yuwen Tong regarded him as the light of his life and had been paying attention to his each and every move…
“I’m sorry.”
Yuwen Tong briefly paused and then instantly became somewhat flustered. The distressed look on Ling Zhang’s face made him feel as though an iron fist had clenched suddenly around his heart.
“Stop pressuring my father. I’ll tell you everything you want to know.”
Ling Zhang took a deep breath. If he was able to continue keeping it secret, he would definitely do it, but now Yuwen Tong had started digging, and for one lie to sound plausible, he might have to tell countless more lies. Things between the two of them were not supposed to be like this. Although he feared very much that after he told Yuwen Tong the truth, Yuwen Tong might consider him as a freak, call off the wedding and care about him no more.
“But you must promise me this first – after you know the truth, if you find it unacceptable, you may do whatever you want to me, but don’t hurt anybody else. Let them leave the capital city unharmed.”
Yuwen Tong knitted his brows, but at the sight of the fear in Ling Zhang’s eyes, the frown on his face disappeared. “Stop being so pessimistic. Let’s say goodbye to your father and go back to the palace. You should’ve put on more clothes before coming here. The night wind is so cold.”
His hand held by Yuwen Tong’s, Ling Zhang lowered his head, fighting back the tears.
“Father, I’ve thought about it, and I think it’s time to tell him the truth.”
Watching the two of them holding each other’s hands, Ling Zhaowu let out a sigh and simply said, “Make sure you’re making a decision you won’t regret making.”
Then he shifted his gaze to Yuwen Tong, his eyes becoming piercing. “Please don’t hurt him. My life doesn’t worth much. I’m willing to give it up if that’s what it takes for my son to live.”
“His life means more to me than my own does,” Yuwen Tong replied with only one sentence and then said to Ling Zhang, “Let’s go back.”
It had been Ling Zhaowu that he came here for, and he had originally thought that Ling Zhaowu was the root cause of all this, but now, judging from Ling Zhang’s and Ling Zhaowu’s reactions, the root cause of all this was not Ling Zhaowu but Ling Zhang himself.
Yuwen Tong held Ling Zhang’s wrist tight, feeling as though something fierce was gnawing at his heart. He was feeling irritable because he had failed to find out earlier that Ling Zhang was keeping some even deeper secret. It turned out that what he believed he’d been holding the tightest could be lost to him at any moment.
Ling Zhang’s wrist was aching from Yuwen Tong’s grip, but he didn’t dare utter a word, for Yuwen Tong was very angry at this moment. The courage he had managed to summon up a moment ago ebbed somewhat. He was afraid that things would turn out the way he feared they would the most.
It was when Yuwen Tong had drawn him out of the Ling Mansion that he came to realize Ling Zhang had been unnaturally quiet. He came to a halt, twisted his head around and saw a somewhat pasty-faced man with eyes full of horror.
His stomach contracted abruptly and with that he let out a sigh and loosened his grip. And then, beneath Ling Zhang’s overcautious gaze, he pulled Ling Zhang into his embrace and asked softly, “What are you afraid of exactly? Do you not trust me?”
Eyes stinging from tears, Ling Zhang raised his hands to grasp the back of Yuwen Tong’s robes and answered in a choked voice, “I’m just scared. I don’t want you to dislike me or stop loving me. I want you to never be angry with me. I want you to smile at me. I want us to be together forever.”
The grasp on the back of his robes and the piteous pleading dissolved the smoldering irritation inside Yuwen Tong. He involuntarily pulled a wry face and said, “I don’t know what you’re thinking. I’m angry because I’m feeling both anxious and frightened. You’ve been keeping your secrets so well that I’m worried that some day you’ll leave me without me noticing. My life would be totally meaningless without you in it. How could you have the heart to say these words to me?”
The corners of Ling Zhang’s mouth slightly dropped and he blinked his eyes to keep himself from bursting into tears, which would be quite shameful. “I would by no means leave you,” he said.
“Then tell me everything,” said Yuwen Tong. “Judging from your and your father’s reactions a moment ago, right now I only want to know whether this matter is dangerous, and whether it would put your life at risk. Originally I thought your father affected you, but now I know you’re the root of all this, which makes me so worried. Tell me the truth, or I would never be able to set my mind at ease.”
“I will,” said Ling Zhang. “I said I’d tell you everything and I’ll keep my promise. Now stop hugging me so we can go back to the palace.”
Yuwen Tong said, “Going back on foot takes too long. Hold me tight.”
Carrying Ling Zhang with him, Yuwen Tong leaped onto a rooftop, and then with another couple of flying leaps, the two of them rapidly disappeared into the dark night.
When they had returned to the Infinite Fortune Palace, Yuwen Tong instructed the guards to tighten the security around the imperial bedchamber and not to let anybody approach.
Ling Zhang’s heart started racing again as he realized that the time had really come for him to tell the truth.
Still cuddling him, Yuwen Tong settled the two of them into a broad chair, shifted his position slightly to let Ling Zhang sit leaning against his chest, and then said, “You may begin. I’m all ears.”
Ling Zhang was trying very hard to slacken his heart which was fluttering in his chest. Inwardly telling himself that he had already made a decision and shouldn’t regret it, he collected his thoughts and then confided his deepest secret to Yuwen Tong without keeping anything back.
He related the painful events before his rebirth one by one, and also expressed the hatred and sense of unreality he’d felt after his rebirth.
Yuwen Tong tightened his arms around Ling Zhang’s waist. His countenance changed several times, and his eyes seemed to be becoming deeper and deeper. The incredulity etched on his face was eventually replaced by fear, and his heart was so heavy that for an instant it rendered him unable to breathe.
“… And then you showed up in Tanyang. You know all the subsequent events.” After finishing the whole story, Ling Zhang was in some kind of stupor for a few moments, as though he were a criminal waiting for his sentence to be pronounced. His heart was beating really fast, and his back was tense, but curiously enough, his mind was exceptionally clear. He was quietly waiting for the “verdict”.
“These things,” Yuwen Tong croaked. “Would you keep these things from me forever had I not pushed you?”
“I didn’t dare tell you,” replied Ling Zhang. “Do you believe any of these things?”
“I do,” boomed Yuwen Tong, “because I know you’re not lying.”
Ling Zhang opened his mouth, instantly losing his composure, his throat terribly sore. “Really?”
Yuwen Tong released him and with that Ling Zhang felt as though his heart abruptly leaped into his throat, hammering wildly, cold sweat breaking out over his back. He thought that Yuwen Tong was about to push him away, but the next instant, his vision blurred and when things came into focus again, he found himself in a different sitting position and face to face with Yuwen Tong who was supporting him with his firm, strong hand against his back. Staring at him with burning eyes, Yuwen Tong said, “I believe you.”
When he had been sitting with his back to Yuwen Tong, he hadn’t been able to see Yuwen Tong’s facial expression, but now the two of them were face to face, and he could see it distinctly. Ling Zhang believed that Yuwen Tong truly believed him, for there was no disgust on his face, only heartache and sadness. At the sight of this, Ling Zhang felt as if his heart had heavily thudded back into his chest. The sense of relief so overwhelming that tears blurred his eyes despite all his efforts to hold them back.
Yuwen Tong raised his hand to lightly wipe the tears from the corners of Ling Zhang’s eyes. “I’m very glad that you told me all this. I also regret very much not having found out about it earlier, and I regret even more not having met you earlier in my last incarnation, not having been able to protect you from misfortunes, not having… not having been able to rescue you. I regret it so much.”
With Yuwen Tong wiping his tears, Ling Zhang found that fighting back his tears had become an impossible task. Clearly these things were all water under the bridge, but he was in such deep grief and sobbing so badly that he was unable to utter a word.
Yuwen Tong was consumed with regret and hatred. He couldn’t bear to picture what it had been like for Ling Zhang, after witnessing his whole family’s deaths, to have his legs broken, be tossed into a mass grave filled with corpses and then have his head smashed by rocks. The pain of thinking about that felt as though someone was slicing his heart thinly and slowly. It was cruel but there was no way to vent his fury, because all the foes had died. Their deaths had been so quick, and no torture had been inflicted on them before they died. Yuwen Tong felt as though those people were now teasing him in the underworld, pangs of resentment searing him.
It was not until this day that he truly came to know what kind of hardships the one he cared about the most had been through. However, there was nobody he could take revenge on. He could only hate himself.
He always tended not to make assumptions and tried to avoid using the word “if” whenever he could, but at this moment he couldn’t help thinking inwardly that if he had found out about this earlier, he would definitely make those people suffer a hundred times the pain they’d inflicted on their victims and torture them to death before cutting their dead bodies to pieces; he would put his sweetheart under his constant protection and make sure he was never subjected to any misfortune, and nobody would be able to harm a hair of his head.
However, all these were nothing but suppositions. He felt lucky that in this incarnation his loved one was still in his embrace safe and sound, that he had chanced upon the butler of the Ling family on that mountain road because of the heavy rain on that day, that he had made the decision to go to Tanyang.
“You saved me and all my family.” Ling Zhang forced himself to calm down. “You helped me get my revenge, in both this incarnation and the last.”
The last incarnation? Yuwen Tong had a quizzical look on his face.
“My father told me this,” explained Ling Zhang. “He and I are as much in the dark as you are. If it was because of the Blood of the Phoenix Clan in me that the miracle happened, then what happened to my father would be totally unexplainable. In his last incarnation, after all my family were killed, my father came around and went back to Tanyang only to find that Zhang Chong and those people of the Jia family had died. They had died at your hands.”
Ling Zhang related to Yuwen Tong what Ling Zhaowu had informed him of, and then added, “It was on that very day that my father told me this, which was why your suspicions were aroused.”
For an instant Yuwen Tong was stupefied. He had killed those people as early as his last incarnation?
“So all my family are indebted to you, in both this incarnation and the last.”
It was quite a while before Yuwen Tong spoke again. “No, I was just returning a favor. I’m the one who should feel lucky, because I’d be alone for another lifetime had you not been reborn.”