Chapter 145
On this day the weather was warm and gentle. As the sun outside was up, in the East courtyard of the Shen residence, Chen Rou Qiu was sitting down with Shen Yue chatting.
These days because Chen Rou Qiu instructed Shen Yue to start choosing a husband, Shen Yue had quarrelled several rounds with Chen Rou Qiu. But the usually gentle Chen Rou Qiu became extremely unyielding for the first time. Shen Yue had no other choice, and could only give a cold face as she interacted with Chen Rou Qiu. Gradually in the course of time, animosity grew between the mother and daughter.
It was somewhat rare to see both of them sitting together peacefully like today.
“One heard that Shen Miao was kidnapped and till now there is still no news.” Shen Yue picked a fruit from the porcelain plate, and was taking joy at the calamity and delight in the disaster as she ate it, “One do not know if she is still alive or not?”
Chen Rou Qiu frowned. She wanted to train Shen Yue to become undisturbed by favour or disgrace, at least on the surface she had a look of gentleness and elegance. But when comparing Shen Yue to when Chen Rou Qiu was young, there was much less calmness. It was still alright on the outward appearance but in the house, all emotions were exposed without omission. This made Chen Rou Qiu very worried.
“Just who was the one who kidnapped her?” Shen Yue muttered to oneself irresolutely, “Eldest Bo have a number of enemies in the Ding capital. This time one do not know who was the one who took action.”
“Since they dared to take such a risk and venture, there must be some deep hatred with Shen Miao. Other people were not targeted and to solely kidnap Shen Miao meant that this was directed at her.” Chen Rou Qiu said, “In addition, the Shen family’s army had searched for so many days, but was unable to find any whereabouts, so the opponents are good at hiding. This time everything bodes ill, and there are no positive signs for Shen Miao.”
Hearing that, Shen Yue was initially somewhat fearful before she suddenly thought about something and smiled, “Speaking of it, I would rather that she live.” She then did not continue on.
After been kidnapped for this long, even if one was alive, most likely one would have suffered a lot of torture. The most hurtful things in the living world were formless rumours. If Shen Miao died then all troubles would have ended for her but if alive, who knew what ugly things would be said. There were a number of young females that were rescued after being kidnapped, and even though they had saved their lives, at the end they were unable to stand the criticising eyes of others, and ended their lives with a long white silk.
Not to mention that Shen Miao was the Di daughter of the Formidable Great General.
Chen Rou Qiu took a look at Shen Yue and sighed, “No matter what, this is after all her business. Yue-er, these days you did not even talk to your Father. Till when will you act in spite?”
If one were to say about the matter of selecting a husband, it could make Shen Yue grumble about Chen Rou Qiu, and towards Shen Wan, Shen Yue had some bitter resentment against. From the mouths of the servants, she then came to be aware that it was Shen Wan that made Chen Rou Qiu set Shen Yue up with others in a rush. Thus Shen Yue placed all the blame onto Shen Wan and thought that Shen Wan wanted her to marry early on, so as to help his career and also provide additional strength to the Third Household. Thus during these days Shen Yue did not even speak to Shen Wan at all. At this moment upon hearing what Chen Rou Qiu said, Shen Yue became impatient, “One often do not see Father’s shadow all day, how would I speak to him?” Finishing, she then turned her head aside in spite and ignored Chen Rou Qiu.
Chen Rou Qiu was startled slightly and suddenly thought about it. Shen Yue’s words were not wrong. These few days one did not know if it was due to the busy work from the court, but even Chen Rou Qiu’s and Shen Wan’s encounters were shorter. Previously, there would be gentle mischief and poetry every now and then, but these few days Shen Wan was somewhat preoccupied.
Chen Rou Qiu sighed in her heart. At Old Shen Furen’s end, she pressed hard to let Shen Wan bring in concubines, and if a couple was not close as before, then this would be the greatest crisis she would be facing.
Chen Rou Qiu did not know that at this moment, the Shen Wan that was ‘busy with court matters’ in her eyes, was currently playing chess with Chang Zai Qing in the Western courtyard.
Chang Zai Qing was wearing a green jade top, and a satin yellow dress with a refreshing bun hanging loose on her head, which made her particularly gentle and scholarly. The tea she brewed was especially good to drink so Shen Wan, who loved tea, would often come over to discuss about tea. During the tea discussion, Chang Zai Qing would like to ask Shen Wan questions about chess and little by little, Shen Wan would come here often to look for Chang Zai Qing to play chess and drink tea.
Chang Zai Qing asked with a smile, “Some days ago, one heard that Fifth Shen Young Lady was kidnapped by others. One does not know if she was found or not.”
“Currently whereabouts are not known yet.” Shen Wan shook his head.
Chang Zai Qing sighed, “A perfectly fine Young Lady but now have encounter such a thing… From Third Master’s perspective, is Fifth Shen Young Lady harmed by General Shen’s enemies?”
Shen Wan said, “It is not easy to say that, after all, only Fifth girl was kidnapped. However after so much time has passed, even if she was saved, she is also…”
Chang Zai Qing had an expression of grief on her face, but her heart was secretly delighted. She did not know why but when facing Shen Miao, there would be an instinctive fear arising. Perhaps it was the last time when Shen Miao spoke to her, she was absolutely horrified or perhaps Shen Miao could see thoroughly into her mind. No matter what, with such a person existing, Chang Zai Qing would feel insecure in her heart. Now hearing Shen Wan saying that, it made her very happy.
Regarding the matter of Shen Miao, in the Shen residence, there were people in Cai Yun Yuan who were discussing about it.
Wan YiNiang said, “Dong Ling, I initially thought that it is not good for you to keep staying in the residence all day but at this moment, my heart is at ease. There are so many kidnappers on the streets and you are so pretty. If you are kidnapped then YiNiang can only cry for the rest of one’s life.” As she spoke, her needlework stopped and she continued, “Do not know if Fifth Young Lady is still alive or not?”
Just as Wan YiNiang was arranging the embroidery, Shen Dong Ling heard her and smiled, “YiNiang, this is not something a kidnapper can do.”
Wan YiNiang’s eyes widen, “Why?”
“Which kidnapper would be so brazen to kidnap someone on the streets? Even if there was one, they would not kidnap a Young Lady from and official family, especially one who looked high ranked, as it would only invite more trouble for oneself in the future. Those people obviously targeted Fifth Younger Sister. I think it is most probably an enemy of the First Household, and just happened that it was encountered by Fifth Younger Sister.” Even though Shen Dong Ling said as such, on the surface there was no expression of grief, as if what she was talking about was some other family’s matters.
Wan YiNiang sighed, “Fifth Young Lady entire life can be considered as finished. She is born in such a good family but cannot enjoy her life. Really failed to live through one’s fortune.”
“That might not necessarily be.” Shen Dong Ling smiled charmingly, one can turn misfortune into blessing. Who knows if there is any noble persons that would rescue her from the untold miseries this time?”
“Even if there is a noble person’s help, it has already been like this. What else can be done?” Wan YiNiang did not agree with Shen Dong Ling’s words.
Just as they were talking, they saw Shen Dong Ling’s personal maid, Xing Hua, who hurriedly walked in from outside, seemingly wanting to say something.
“YiNiang, Third Young Lady. This servant just now heard from outside, that Fifth Young Lady was sent back to the Shen mansion by Princess Rong Xin’s horse carriage. She is safe and sound and doing very well!”
“YiNiang look.” Shen Dong Ling smiled, “I said that Fifth Younger Sister has great abilities and naturally will have noble people to help.”
*****
After Shen Miao was kidnapped by others for a few days, there was finally news about her. She was even sent back personally by Princess Rong Xin’s personal female official, and that set of a great uproar in the Ding capital.
Originally when Shen Miao was kidnapped, the evildoer wanted to transport Shen Miao out of the city, but due to the very strict interrogation by the Shen family’s army, Shen Miao managed to escape herself during the transport process and fainted after injuring her leg, but managed to accidentally encounter the guards from the Princess’ residence. The guards brought Shen Miao back to the Princess’ residence and only when Shen Miao woke up, she then saw Princess Rong Xin. There was no news these few days because Shen Miao had not wake up yet, and the people in the Princess’ residence were not aware of her identity, and dared not identify her indiscriminately.
Anyhow, Shen Miao was still a pure young lady as before. It was alarming but not dangerous this time.
Perhaps there might be some skeptical voices, but the majority of the people were not suspicious of this reasoning at all. This was because the person who spoke about it, was the one who did not care about personal favours and it was the most impartial Princess Rong Xin. Princess Rong Xin had already spoken, so it was assumed that there was no problem with it.
But what was strange was that since she had spoken about it, the rumours that were spreading were that Shen Miao had not yet appeared in front of people at all. Some said that it could be that Shen Miao’s was actually seriously injured thus was unable to make an appearance now, and some said that it was because the Shen family wanted to completely protect Shen Miao, they dared not let her out of the residence easily, so that she would not meet strangers.
In any case, Shen Miao had returned back to the Shen mansion, but it is just that no one personally saw it with their eyes.
At this moment Shen Miao was standing in front of Luo Ling’s room.
Luo Tan’s words echoed by her ears, “Youngest Biao Sister, go and persuade Older Brother Ling. Even though Older Brother Ling did not say it, we all know that he is very upset inside. Even though he looked like the usual happy on the outside, he would not speak about the bitterness. Our mouths are all slow-witted and do not know how to console him. Youngest Biao Sister, you read so many books and also know how others think the most. If you go and persuade Older Brother Ling, Older Brother Ling will definitely listen to you. Previously in the Xiao Chun City, Older Brother Ling would agree with whatever you say. Take it as Luo Tan begging you this time.”
Shen Miao sighed in her heart, and hesitated for a moment before finally knocking the door.
“Who is it?” The person inside asked.
“Older Brother Ling, it is me.”
After a moment of silence, someone said, “Come in.”
Shen Miao walked in with a bamboo basket in her hands. When she entered the room, she placed the bamboo basket on the study table. There was a celadon bowl at the corner of the table. Some brown stains were at the bottom of the bowl. It seemed that Luo Ling just drank the medication from it.
Luo Ling sat in front of the table and there were some books on the table, so most likely he was reading them. He looked slightly pale and there were bandages around his arms as he smiled at her gently, “Younger Biao Sister has come.”
As the oldest grandson of the Luo family, Luo Ling was the most gentle and composed one of the four younger generation since young. He was apparently a true gentleman, very different from those individuals like Pei Lang who were selfish and heartless. Luo Ling was a person who treated others warmly easily.
When Luo Ling learned that Shen Miao returned safely, naturally he was happy for her, and did not mention a single word about the injury that he sustained on his right arm. During the conversation during meals, he was still warm and generous, as if he had never experience the matter before. He did not mention it so everyone dared not take the initiate to talk about it. The calmer Luo Ling appeared to be, the more worried everyone was.
Thus Luo Tan came to beg Shen Miao, hopping that she could help to persuade Luo Ling.
“I have brought some pastries for you.” Shen Miao smiled and brought out a plate of pastries from the bamboo basket, “Milk and honey is added inside. Most probably it would be good for your wounds.”
She was the first person who directly said ‘wounds’ to Luo Ling.
Luo Ling was slightly startled but afterwards smiled gently, “But I just drank the medication and cannot eat it now. Younger Biao Sister place it over there first. I will try Younger Biao Sister’s culinary skills later.”
“Is it cannot eat?” Shen Miao looked at him and asked, “Or unable to eat?”
The book that Luo Ling was holding shook before he raised his head and smiled, “What do you mean? It cannot be that Younger Biao Sister is angry because I did not eat the pastries immediately?”
Shen Miao sat down opposite of Luo Ling.
Luo Ling reminded her of a person. Wan Yu.
Luo Ling’s personality was lenient and good-natured, so he would not be calculative if he suffered a loss. This was almost the same mould as Wan Yu. Maybe because she knew that Shen Miao did not have Fu Xiu Yi’s favour, or perhaps she understood the hardships that one faced when living in the Palace, even though Wan Yu was a Princess of the Imperial family, she had no trace of arrogance. Afterwards when Mei Furen took advantage of Fu Xiu Yi and got Wan Yu to marry to the Xiong Nu, Fu Xiu Yi used the reason of the righteousness of the world, making Shen Miao to be in so much pain that she did not want to live. In turn Wan Yu comforted her and said, “The grasslands is rather good. In my lifetime I had not been to the grasslands before. If one encounter anything interesting, one will definitely write to Imperial Mother and let Imperial Mother also see the beauty of the grasslands.”
She would never mention of her suffering, and would smile and face the persons that cared about her. This was Wan Yu and this was also Luo Ling.
Shen Miao said, “Is it so difficult to admit that one’s heart is not happy, not letting go, feeling wronged, being angry and filled with resentment?”
Luo Ling was startled for a moment.
“Older Brother Ling does not seem to want to blame anything.” Shen Miao said, “By not intending to blame anyone meant that one planned to blame oneself correct?”
Luo Ling stared at Shen Miao for a while and suddenly smiled bitterly, “Younger Biao Sister, must you speak so directly?”
“It is Older Biao Brother who is too indirect.” Shen Miao said, “Just like how you feel, you will not blame others and would blame yourself. Likewise, you do not say or mention anything and want me to feel remorse and guilt for the rest of my life or for me not to sleep in peace the rest of my life?”
Luo Ling was stunned, “Younger Biao Sister…”
“Older Brother Ling, you thought that by putting up a pretence of nothing had happened, everyone would feel relax and by ignoring the injuries on your hands, everything will be happy again? It is not like that. You hide it in your heart so you will not be happy thus everyone will not be happy.” Shen Miao’s voice was warm but the words she spoke were very sharp. “A lifetime is just a short few decades and to live compromisingly like this is indeed a way but somethings it is also good to live impudently a little. Why life in grievance because of others? If one is not happy, just say it. You can be angry, can hate and can be resentful. This is not a big deal.”
Most likely it was Luo Ling first time hearing such a reasoning that he felt somewhat unacceptable. It was like his first time knowing Shen Miao as he looked at her carefully as he sized her up. Towards this Youngest Biao Sister, Luo Ling felt that she was very clear in differentiating with love and hate and even though she was young she had a magnanimous bearing and looked mild but stubborn. However at this moment it made Luo Ling have a new understanding of Shen Miao. Deep in her bones, there was a type of disdain for secular etiquettes.
It was as if all the good and righteousness was not worth mentioning in her eyes.
“Who would I hate? Who should I resent? And get angry at?” Luo Ling asked.
“You can blame me because it was because of me you fell into other’s trap. You can hate the mastermind because it was those people that injure you. You can also be angry with all the doctors in Ding capital as none of them could treat your injuries and they were all medical practitioners that deceive the public and build a false reputation of themselves. The only person you cannot blame is yourself.” Shen Miao continued, “Good people always blame themselves and bad people always blame others. But it is the bad people that live better off than the good people. If one can let one be happier a little then what is there to be sad about being resentful of others?”
Luo Ling smiled and said, “Youngest Biao Sister, are you comforting me?”
“Yes.” Shen Miao said, “I have said so much so that you will not keep everything buried in your heart.”
Luo Ling sighed, “Correct. After the incident, I am indeed not happy and comfortable. But GuGu and GuFu already blamed themselves so I cannot add hail to snow. Tan-er is worried for me so I cannot let her be deeply worried and troubled. I can only reproach myself that I did not practice more martial arts and thus be hurt by others. I can only blame myself for not being smart enough and be exploited by others easily.”
“Then how about now?” Shen Miao asked.
“Youngest Biao Sister’s ability to persuade other to take an alternate route is precisely to my appetite.” Luo Ling quipped, “Perhaps what you said is correct. It was not because of me and the person I am angry and hate at should not be myself.”
“Hating and anger is not be the thing you finally do.” Shen Miao said, “Since the right hand cannot be used, then why not try the left hand?”
Luo Ling was startled.
“I heard that there was a General in the last dynasty that was extremely brave in battles. Afterwards the enemy cut off the General’s right hand during the battlefield. Everyone was depressed for him and did not think that he actually started to use his left hand. Later he even created a unique ‘Left-Handed Sword Manual’.” Shen Miao smiled slightly, “What does Older Brother Ling think about it?”
Luo Ling heard Shen Miao words and a strange brilliance gradually appeared in his eyes. Unlike just now, it seemed to have inspired certain thoughts in his eyes and the gaze in his eyes became different. He looked at Shen Miao and his gaze became excited, “Youngest Biao Sister’s story is really good.”
“Older Biao Brother can do even better.”
Luo Ling laughed out loud. Luo Tan who was eavesdropping outside jumped in shocked. This was different from the usual gentle smile that Luo Ling usually had on. Even with the door seperating, one could hear the carefreeness in the laughter.
What exactly did Shen Miao say to Luo Ling?
“So Younger Biao Sister relied on this kind of effort so no matter what kind of predicament one encounters one was able to take each step and reached to an invincible position?” Luo Ling asked.
Shen Miao laughed, “It is still too early to be called invincible.”
“It certainly looks like it.”
Shen Miao declined to comment. Luo Ling’s words were not wrong but was also not correct as it was not possible to just rely on these. If one fell from the most prestigious position to dust, everything that one relied upon all disappeared, with no returns on whatever that was invested in and with the collapse of the family clan and death of one’s children, and all this was because of one’s own blunder in the beginning, then one would know that nothing was more important that living. Not only to live but one must live wells one can make a comeback and could apply everything to the person who was doing the hurt.
Luo Ling reproached himself but when did Shen Miao not blame herself? She often blamed herself that because of her selfishness in the past lifetime she had harmed the entire First household of the Shen family. In this lifetime she was still trying to fix this mistake and fortunately she was in time.
She looked at Luo Ling and smiled, “From today onwards Older Brother Ling will not stay in the room all day to read books right?”
Ever since the incident of Luo Ling’s right hand, Luo Ling would often stay all day in the study to read books. It was said that it was in order to calm himself down but everyone knew that Luo Ling wanted to be in dismay alone.
“Youngest Biao Sister has personally came to intercede, how would I still dare to read books?” Luo Ling smiled.
Shen Miao nodded her head, “Then I will feel assured.”
“It is not enough to be assured.” Luo Ling looked at her and blinked his eyes before saying mischievously, “Since the matter started with Younger Biao Sister then one must continue making pastries.”
“That is naturally so.” Shen Miao replied, “If Older Biao Brother want to eat, then just inform the maid and I will make some and send it over.”
Luo Ling stared at Shen Miao. The young female in front of him was speaking with smiles. She was naturally delicate and pretty and was even considered somewhat childish but every time she would give others an extremely secure feeling. Just like today’s conversation, he knew that she was here to persuade himself and he knew that her intention was to keep his spirits up. If it was others, Luo Ling could naturally seal his heart but when facing Shen Miao, in face of her outspoken and blunt words, she was guiding him patiently and systematically. It was just like a gentle spring water. It was not considered as a lighthearted or respectable thing but one would not be able to resist.
It was just like an elder.
Luo Ling was shocked by his own thoughts and then felt it was somewhat funny. Shen Miao was only sixteen now and was a few years younger than himself. At the age of sixteen, Luo Tan even went out with Luo Qian to climb trees. Such a young female, no matter how mature she behaved normally, there would be no association to ‘elders’.
His gaze gradually soften and he joked as he looked at Shen Miao, “If in the future one is unable to master left-handed sword skills, Younger Biao Sister must not despise me.” As soon as the words were said, Luo Ling felt that he was somewhat impudent as the meaning implied in those words were indeed too strong. But one did not know why, he looked at Shen Miao with some hope, as if he was expecting some answer from Shen Miao’s lips.
Shen Miao was slightly startled as she faced a different from normal gaze from Luo Ling and felt slightly awkward.
Not to mention about Luo Ling’s identity or anything else, after the rebirth, Shen Miao did not have any thoughts about her marriage. If one could find a stable person for the rest of her life, as long as that person respected her, what did having love mattered? Shen Miao had never thought about her husband.
But Luo Ling… Shen Miao sighed in her heart. Since she already compared Luo Ling to Wan Yu, if Luo Ling really became her husband, then won’t she be wrenched to death? She then smiled and said, “Older Biao Brother is joking, who in this family would dare to despise you?”
She did not answer Luo Ling’s question.
The hope in Luo Ling’s eyes gradually faded. After being silent for a moment, he smiled again, “No matter what, many thanks to Younger Biao Sister for consoling.”
“You’re welcome.” Shen Miao said, “We are all a family.”
Shen Miao sat down for a while more before getting up and left. After Shen Miao left, Luo Ling sat in front of the table and one did not know what he was thinking about. After staying still for a long time, he then sighed gently and a bitter smile appeared on his lips. His gaze landed on the plate of pastries at the corner of the table and after some thoughts, he reached out for it.
However one did not know what happened when suddenly there was a gust of wind that coincidently blew onto the plate and the heavy porcelain plate fell onto the ground with a ‘ding dang’ sound and smashed into pieces. At the same time an ink slab also fell together and the ink landed of many of the pastries. Obviously they could no longer be eaten.
Luo Ling was startled for a moment and got up to take a look but upon seeing that the windows were tightly closed, he could not help but murmured, “It is close tightly so why would there be wind?” Then his gaze landed on the pastries that were contaminated by ink and said regretfully, “What a pity.”
*****
At the other end, Shen Miao returned back to the room and lit the oil lamp in the room. After letting Jing Zhe and Gu Yu withdraw, she that pressed down her disgust.
Luo Ling’s matter was indeed an accident. She had never expected that Princess Ming An would be so malicious. Not only that she want to deal with her, she also ant to deal with Shen Qiu. If it was not Luo Ling who blocked this calamity for Shen Qiu, one did not know what kind of disaster Shen Qiu would be in. As compared to the last lifetime, Princess Ming An was even more rampant and because of a combination of factors she hated Shen Miao even more that she did things without caring about the consequences. This indeed made one’s heart unable to be at ease. It is better to remove her early.
Unfortunately Xie Jing ing had intervened in the matter.
Shen Miao did not know what Xie Jing Xing wanted to do. It’s just on that day when Xie Jing Xing was sending her to the Princess residence, Xie Jing Xing told her not to leave the residence these few days and not let others see her whereabouts. Even though she did not know what Xie Jing Xing planned to to do, but at the moment Xie Chang Chao was already dead so one thought that Xie Jing Xing wanted to deal with Xie Chang Wu.
Initially Shen Miao had always thought that it would be best to borrow someone else sword to kill others and not do it herself. But thinking of Xie Jing Xing’s character of not helping others out of his good nature and with his crafty schemes, one fear that after getting rid of Ming An and Xie Chang Wu for her, on the second day he would extort a big price tag from her. She just felt that it was not a good idea to let Xie Jing Xing take action.
Just as she was thinking, she saw the flame slightly swayed and a silhouette of a man appeared on the folding screen.
Now Shen Miao would not be even surprised about it. She habitually turned her head around and indeed saw Xie Jing Xing walking in from outside.
This person could actually walk in so brazenly and openly even when uninvited, as if he was visiting his own courtyard. Shen Miao was somewhat annoyed but she saw Xie Jing Xing taking a seat on the stood in front.
However today he did not wear the usual golden purple robes but wore a black brocade robe, if his collar was not lined in silver threads then he could almost blend into the night. However the night was unable to conceal his good looks. The pair of twinkling peach blossoms eyes were brought and particularly sharp tonight.
“No tea and no snacks.” Xie Jing Xing raised his eyebrows, “You entertain guests like this?”
Shen Miao said, “I don’t seemed to have invited you.”
“Not a guest but at least an ally. Not an ally,” Xie Jing Xing look at her sideways and his lips slowly hooked up, “But still a saviour.”
Shen Miao was at a loss for words. Xie Jing Xing already have no shame in self-proclaiming as her saviour, so what else could she say? Might as well not speak. Shen Miao look at Xie Jing Xing pouring a cup of tea himself and she did not know why but there was actually a displeased look.
Shen Miao thought that Xie Jing Xing had some expression of irritation and anger. For instance the corner of his eyes was obviously slightly elevated but made others feel quite scary.
One did not know which person was that brave and reckless to make him unhappy.