After the event at the picnic

/party, we went home immediately. The mages that were in the party including my father all went to check the area for spies, attackers, or assassins who might have released their killing intent by accident, just to find nothing.

Once we got home, I did my best to act like a normal baby for the next 3 days and then slowly toned it down step by step to not raise suspicions.

Due to my parents being so conceited and blind to the monster right in front of them, they immediately took the bait without a second thought which I honestly did not expect from my parents.

For the next few days of break, I had been either spending time with my sister, teaching myself to walk properly while getting used to my new center of gravity, or finally practicing magic when everyone was asleep.

After the incident at the party, I had finally realized something I had been overlooking for the last 8 months of my life. The soul flame isn't just an embodiment of you but rather it is your will. Even though it does not contain any magic, it could be used to imbue Elemental Particles with commands rather than trying to control them individually.

That's how normal mages are able to so easily clump many particles together and do as they command.

The soul flame is like a second mind that can interact with elements better than your brain. While your brain might make the command and change the direction of magic, the soul flame imbues and communicates the will to the elements around it or in your range of magic.

This means that the faster and more in sync you are with your soul flame, the faster and more precise will be the casting and control over the spell you create.

Over the spring and most of the summer when my sister was not home, I practiced controlling elements at a larger scale. I was still unable to use them with my soul flame to the extent of even creating a spark of flame, a small gust of wind, or even a bubble of water, but I didn't give up.

This situation reminded me of how I was back on earth before learning martial arts. I had tried to learn it and master it for years yet I wasn't able to do it due to not having a teacher.

Due to that, I was easy to pick on and I was always powerless, yet what kept me going was the fact that I was being picked on and bullied. I didn't want to be powerless against those who picked on me and nor do I want to feel powerless in this life.

I want to be strong enough to avoid facing the same fate as the one I faced on earth. And honestly, I'm scared sh*tess of having to live through my childhood again.

Children are cruel and especially in a world where power means everything. The more power you have both socially and physically, the more powerful you are meaning the more respected you will be.

I'm not going to whine like a child about changing the system because I honestly do not care about anyone else who has to face the same problem as me. Maybe if I see someone face the same problem with my own eyes I might be more empathetic towards them, but right now all I care about is me, my mother, and my sister.

The rest might as well be cannon fodder or collateral damage for all I care, yet losing them would surely hurt my sister and mother so I have to care for them just as much as them.

Anyways, when we were nearing summer

/ autumn break, I had finally made a breakthrough. It was almost my first birthday if I am correct and due to that I made a deadline for myself to be able to at least create a spark of flames by the time it is mid-autumn.

Apparently, lady luck was on my side this time, allowing me to reach my goal 2 months earlier than expected.

One day while I was practicing imbuing from my soul flame to the energies around me, something clicked inside both my head and my soul flame. Thankfully it was a time where everyone was asleep because it would have caused havoc among the members of my family.

My soul flame started bursting outwards and inwards at the same rate as my heartbeat. I could instantly feel every elemental particle in the room resonate with me like the time at the party, yet this time, they were all as calm as I was panicking.

When I calmed down I could move all the particles at the same time. Nonetheless, the side effect of doing so caused me to have a severe migraine at the same time that made me think my head was about to implode from the mental pressure.

After a few minutes, I decided to use a bit of the fire particles around me and group them together. Now not only was I able to see the particles, but they were clear as ever. It was akin to looking at the dust in the air and could easily tell where some particles were more concentrated than other areas.

When all the fire particles came together at frightening precision compared to earlier, I imbued my will into the silvery cyan particles to create a small spark before making a candle-sized flame in mid-air.

If that was not impressive enough, I condensed the water particles in the air to create a tear sized drop of water before freezing it. I used the earth particles in the ground to pick up a part of dirt the size of my baby fist from the plant near the window and then created a small vortex of wind creating a small mud vortex while holding everything in place.

I was extremely proud of myself since I had done all that without absorbing help from anyone, not even the internet.

The moment I lost control of all the elements due to my pride and joy enveloping my mind for a second, I felt a huge amount of pain surge from my chest.

The pain enveloped my whole body, making me spasm uncontrollably while I screamed in pain. All the elemental particles in my lungs that were normally exhaled were being absorbed into my body. To be exact, every single pore in my body was absorbing the elements around me yet not disturbing my parents' slumber.

What did disturb their slumber was a quiet shriek of pain I made at first before gritting my baby teeth as hard as I could while faking being asleep?

The elements coursed through my bloodstream before reaching my capillaries and being diffused into my body just for it to go towards my chest.

The right side of my chest was burning with the pain I had never felt physically in both my lives while my heart and soul flame beat in sync equally as powerful as each other.

It felt like being dipped into molten lava for 3 seconds and out again to let my body regenerate from the scrap that was left before being dipped again.

Clearly, my efforts to keep my cries in were for nothing as my mother had picked up and started examining them with a panicked look without me even realizing it.

Aroura also had just entered the room with a panicked expression and my father had just woken up judging by his tired eyes being rubbed constantly. However, my pain did not subside but rather, it increased substantially causing me to cry in pain once more before subsiding.

I have no idea how I knew, but my eyes were glowing brightly throughout the process and my body felt as new as ever because it was. From what I could tell, every single cell in my body was destroyed, consumed after being turned into mana

/energy, and used to repair the cells that were destroyed replacing them with ones much stronger and sturdy. All my bones were destroyed and repaired while my baby muscles had been refined, feeling less foreign to me than before and more nimble than ever.

Of course, it was nothing compared to my Earthling body, but it was a good start. Unfortunately, however, I was unable to celebrate being let go from the clutches of death due to me immediately falling into a deep slumber like no other.

For the first time in almost a year, I had slept and it was so deep and soothing that I wished it would last forever.. I felt every worry be sent to the back of my mind before starting to snore lightly.