Translator: Exodus Tales Editor: Exodus Tales

Chapter 269 – New Year’s Eve Announcement1

Wiping the betel nut juice off the corner of his mouth, Chen Yu crouched down while holding onto his aching abdomen. “W-What have you been eating? Can’t you act normally?”

“I want to play with Big Brother,” Chen Sanke said, blinking her eyes. “Let’s play a game only the two of us can play.”

Hearing this, Chen Yu subconsciously stepped back. “W-What do you want to play?”

Turning around to look at the living room, Chen Sanke quickly walked into the bedroom and shut the door. She then reached into her shirt and…pulled out a cylindrical object. “This!”

“Corn?”

“No. Mommy said it’s a maize.”

“They’re the same thing.” Grabbing the ear of corn, Chen Yu fiddled around with it before asking, “What can we even do with it?”

“Guess how many kernels are on the maize!”

“…How bored are you?”

“Come on, guess~” Chen Sanke said as she fawningly hugged Chen Yu’s legs. “Whoever guesses correctly wins. I guess that there 100 kernels.”

“One hundred?” Weighing the corn in his hand, Chen Yu said, “You think such a big ear of corn only has 100 kernels? There should be at least a few hundred.”

Curling her lips, Chen Sanke said, “Do you even know how to count? I’m already guessing high by guessing 100!

“Oh?” Chen Yu raised his eyebrows, his stubborn temple acting up. He then grabbed a glass cup, plucked the corn kernels, and tossed them into the cup one after another. “Look properly. Inspect every kernel. I’ll definitely show you who’s right today!”

“What if you guess wrongly?”

“I’ll call you Big Sister!”

“Deal!” Chen Sanke grew joyful. “You must keep your promise.”

“Stop bothering me from counting… Seven, eight, nine, ten! See? There’s ten already…”

For the next ten minutes or so, under Chen Sanke’s and the invisible Little Peach’s gaze, Chen Yu stripped the corn of all its kernels.

Bang!

After filling the cup with kernels, Chen Yu tossed the naked cob away. He then shook his sore hands before sneering, “Six hundred and thirteen. That’s more than six times what you guessed! So, who’s the one that doesn’t know how to count? Don’t act so arrogantly in the future. You should be especially respectful when dealing with your elder brother.”

“No! This isn’t right!” Chen Sanke shook her head. She then pulled out another ear of corn and clumsily started removing its kernels. “You must have tricked me! There’s no way there are s-so many kernels!”

“Give it to me,” Chen Yu said, snatching the corn from his little sister. He then brought over a new cup and placed the kernels inside it. “You count them yourself this time.”

“Okay! One, two, three, two…”

“Four comes after three!”

“Four, five six…”

After another ten minutes passed, the second corn was also stripped naked.

“Seven hundred and four corn kernels.” Looking down at Chen Sanke condescendingly, Chen Yu said, “What have you learned through this incident?”

Reaching out and grabbing the two cups of corn kernels, Chen Sanke stood up and awkwardly bowed to Chen Yu. “Big Brother is still the best.”

“Good. At least you’ve shown signs of growth,” Chen Yu said in delight as he rubbed his sore wrists. “Go out. Stop disturbing my rest.”

“Mhm.” Chen Sanke nodded. She then left the room with the two cups of corn and walked toward the kitchen. While walking, she also shouted, “Mommy! The corn kernels for the dumplings are ready!”

Chen Yu: “?”

“Oh? You removed them so quickly?” Mother Chen hurriedly accepted the cups and patted Chen Sanke on the head. “You’ve grown up, Third Eldest. You’re getting better at doing work.”

“Mhm! I even managed to count past 700!”

“Good girl. You must be tired, right?”

“I’m not tired at all.”

Chen Yu: “???”

…

With the new year’s approach, another heavy snowfall struck Jinzhou City, covering the red lanterns of both sides of the streets in snow.

The Chen abode was also covered with couplets and red paper art. Under the shine of the winter sun, these decorations made the Chen abode look particularly festive.

“Mr. Chen, does this outfit look nice?”

Little Peach asked as she twirled around before Chen Yu in her red tangzhuang.

“It looks good,” Chen Yu said as he briefly glanced at Little Peach. He then resumed busily sending New Year greetings to his acquaintances.

“How perfunctory…”

“Can’t you see I’m busy? If you have nothing to do, go online and publish a New Year greeting on the several broadcasting platforms.”

“What should I write?”

“Go check online! Just do it simply.”

“W-Won’t this be bad?” Little Peach said hesitantly as she sat before the table. “Isn’t the Spring Festival an important day?”

“It’s just a New Year greeting. Everyone is also just humoring each other with it. Some even find it troublesome to send one,” Chen Yu said as he waved off Little Peach.

“Why even bother with it, then? Humans really are weird…”

Bang! Bang!

At this time, knocking sounds came from the bedroom door. Mother Chen’s voice then came from outside the door, “Chen Yu, open up! Why are you locking the door on New Year?”

“Hurry up and hide!” Chen Yu said to Little Peach in a subdued voice. He then stood up and approached the door, asking, “Mom, what do you want?”

“Hurry up and open the door. I’m giving you a New Year gift.”

Turning around, Chen Yu saw that Little Peach’s figure had already disappeared. He then unlocked the door and opened it. “What present?”

“This.” Mother Chen pulled out a brand new pair of purple underwear from her pocket. She then stuffed it into Chen Yu’s hand and asked, “Do you like it?”

“This…” Chen Yu couldn’t help but gape in shock. “What’s this?”

“A purple underwear1,” Mother Chen said, grinning. “You’ll have an auspicious time after wearing it.”

“…”

“What are you standing there for? Go put it on quickly!” Mother Chen urged. “Your three sisters have worn theirs already.”

“Mom! Stop making troubl—”

“Put it on!”

Bang!

Shutting the door, Chen Yu felt his head aching as he held onto the purple underwear.

“Mr. Chen, what does purple underwear mean?” Little Peach asked quizzically as she exited her invisibility state.

“Don’t ask. Continue staying invisible.” Tossing the underwear onto the bed, Chen Yu waited for a moment before opening the door again.

“Did you put it on?”

Mother Chen still stood outside the door, waiting with her arms akimbo.

“I’m wearing it.”

“Let me see.”

?!!”

“Let’s take a look.” With lightning speed, Mother Chen accurately grabbed the waistband of Chen Yu’s pants and tugged at it, revealing the edges of the black shorts underneath. “Little punk, don’t think you can play tricks with me. I am your mother. Do you think I don’t understand how you think? Go put it on immediately!”

“Are you a demon?”

“Go!”

Helpless, Chen Yu had no choice but to put on the purple underwear while sighing. “I want to go to university…”

Crackle, crackle, crackle…

Not long after, the sound of simulated firecrackers came from a phone in the living room. Immediately afterward, Mother Chen’s voice came from outside the bedroom once more. “Chen Yu, have you put it on yet? Come out and eat dumplings!”

“Okay.”

After changing into a new set of clothes, Chen Yu walked up to the bedroom window and quietly observed the quiet and dark sky outside. He then raised his wrist, searched for the ID “China Government” on his personal contact list, and sent a message.

…

Ten minutes later, an impromptu news piece rolled out under the TV1 channel, which was broadcasting a Spring Festival program.

Based on observatory observations, there will be two large meteorites colliding with each other 120,000 kilometers outside Earth tonight, which may generate a large visible light. However, due to the long distance, it will not cause any danger to Earth. Please do not panic.

Repeat: Based on observatory observations, there will be…

Shortly afterward, the neighboring countries such as Japan, Korea, Thailand, and Russia also released similar news announcements.

TL Notes:

1New Year’s Eve: The New Year’s Eve referred to here isn’t December 31st, but the day before Chinese New Year (aka, the Spring Festival). The “New Year” referred to in previous chapters is also referring to “Chinese New Year” instead of the New Year on January 1st.

2purple underwear: In the northeastern parts of China, parents and students believe in a superstition mentioning that wearing purple underwear allows them to accomplish anything.